Ch 4 – Spicy Space Pirate

Once Yu Xi exposed the fact that Kersz wasn’t exactly an honest human, Kersz clearly decided to let loose.

And Yu Xi understood more and more that this was a human who plainly didn’t take his own life seriously.

Did he actually just ask if tobacco was grown here?

Yu Xi hurriedly pulled up various education materials in the hopes that Kersz would realize the dangers of smoking, but Kersz didn’t seem very concerned.

Instead, he began to wonder if Yu Xi had similar vices, such as using semi-dangerous viruses as a sort of drug for androids.

“I usually watch movies.” Yu Xi would not casually harm his body. He didn’t have such strange hobbies.

“You don’t feel any sort of adrenaline rush?”

Kersz felt that Yu Xu was very much like a human. He had even replicated that most primal aspect of human enjoyment.

“Adrenaline rush? You mean seeking pleasure through the illusion of death?” This human seemed to be a bit sick in the head.

“You could say that.” Kersz was currently touring Yu Xi’s botanical garden.

There was a large plot of land here specifically for growing vegetables, and Kersz even saw cows out in the field. According to Yu Xi, they were bionic cows, and he had placed them there because the empty space needed some moving scenery.

“I hope you won’t cause me too much trouble.” Yu Xi said helplessly: “There are no restrictions on me to prevent me from attacking humans.”

Kersz paused: “Is that a threat?”

“It’s not a threat…..at least, as long as you don’t cause me trouble.” Yu Xi suddenly gasped, then took Kersz’s hand and ran forward with abandon.

Had something happened?

Kersz didn’t understand. Wasn’t this planet under Yu Xi’s control? What could put him in such a fluster?

Yu Xi pulled Kersz in front of a cabbage: “Look at it, it’s so round, ah.”

Kersz: “Ah?”

“It’s so round. So perfectly round.” Yu Xi slowly squatted down and gave the cabbage a soft caress.

“Don’t they all look pretty much the same?” Kersz couldn’t see the difference.

“It’s a bit more well-proportioned. Do you like cabbage?” Yu Xi had already instructed the machines in the plant room to mark this cabbage as a priority. That way, it could be harvested later if the human was interested.

Yu Xi used the word ‘cabbage’ in his own language.

“I’ve never eaten it,” Kersz answered honestly.

Yu Xi’s eyes widened: “Do you have any similar plants where you live? What do you call them?” Yu Xi had not yet learned the ancient human word for cabbage.

“I….haven’t seen any.” Kersz shrugged. “To be honest, the meal I had after waking up here is probably the best food I’ve ever eaten in my life.”

Yu Xi was even more shocked: “The stir-fried cabbage and stewed meat soup? The meat was even synthetic.”

The names of these two dishes remained unchanged from what the local humans had called them in the past.

Yu Xi couldn’t believe it: “Your people have starships now, and you’ve ventured into interstellar space. Is the human population too large? Is there very little arable land? But you asked about tobacco leaves, and that is also a plant.”

“Tobacco leaves are so cheap that they cost almost nothing.”

“But vegetables…..” Kersz nodded. “I’ve never really had any experience with them.”

“Your file states that you have a background in military service, but you were later discharged for criminal activity.” Yu Xi took his hand away from the cabbage and stood up. “You wrote that part very vaguely. What crime did you commit?”

Yu Xi rummaged around in his memories. It seemed that the ancient humans had also turned food into a rare commodity during their lifetime. 

“Abuse of authority,” Kersz said, still very vague.

“And then you became a miner. What about your androids?” Yu Xi continued to lead Kersz forward. “Are your androids not intelligent enough to replace humans in the workforce?”

“Although those androids don’t possess emotions as rich as yours, they still handle their work quite well.” As he spoke, Kersz suddenly experienced the urge to smoke again.

Yu Xi was even more uncomprehending. If there were androids, why would humans need to personally handle interstellar mining operations?

But Kersz immediately offered an explanation: “However, the cost of creating them is very high.”

“The more intelligent the android, the higher its price, while humans are very cheap.” Kersz smiled. “Blasting and prospecting is very dangerous. What if those intelligent androids were crushed during cave-ins?”

“It’s different for humans. If they die, their family is given compensation.” The cost of an intelligent android was about the same as a small spaceship. It would likely take the combined compensation money from dozens of dead miners to buy even one.

Yu Xi: ……

“It’s not cost-effective, ah.” Kersz shrugged.

Miners’ wages weren’t low, but their ability to spend that money was limited. Due to the harsh environments of the planets they worked on, Star Express ships only came once every few months.

Those planets were uninhabitable. Stellar winds periodically triggered deadly radiation storms, which forced humans to remain confined to bases year-round. And these bases were only designed to meet their very basic needs.

The rumble of heavy machinery was a constant presence in their ears.

“The cheapest items are cigarettes and alcohol. Oh, and some small toys to meet people’s physical needs.”

Kersz sighed: “To be honest, I feel like when they’re not working, all they have left is their most primal desire – reproduction.”

In fact, even more extreme drugs existed in interstellar society, but the companies didn’t supply those ones to their workers. After all, the companies needed them to remain clear-headed at work so that they wouldn’t have to pay out additional compensation.

Someone getting stuck in a narrow ore vein or experiencing a mine collapse were reasonable losses that the companies could calculate.

But driving oneself to death by being out of one’s mind was considered “extortion.”

“Were you like this too back then?” In his memory, Yu Xi finally located a corresponding stage in the development of his own ancient humans.

“You mean indulging in base desires? I’m a little different. I have a bad temper, and I just want to kill.” Kersz also enjoyed smoking and drinking, but he had no time to think about procreation. He was constantly preoccupied with revenge. 

“I saved almost all of my money, but I still bought some small things. I got a mouse to keep me company. The little thing was very smart, but its lifespan was a bit short.” Kersz liked to play with the mouse to relieve his boredom.

“Humans had miners before they ventured into interstellar space, and mice were indeed their good friends,” said Yu Xi.

“I’ve heard stories like that,” said Kersz.

Yu Xi began to ponder.

Kersz was clearly a human with a very rich life experience and a great deal of trauma.

“Do you need a hug?” Yu Xi asked him.

“A hug with clothes or without?” Kersz countered.

Yu Xi: “…..Can you please stop thinking about selling your body?” Why was Kersz so naturally prepared to fall into depravity? Was it because his life before had been so difficult?

“Your programming doesn’t prevent you from harming humans, so I can only do my best to make you go easy on me,” Kersz lamented.

Yu Xi: “So what you’re saying is that you’re definitely going to cause trouble for me?”

“Isn’t your life boring?” Kersz walked toward Yu Xi with his arms wide open. He hugged him tightly, then loosened his grip. “Perhaps our relationship is like that of a miner and a mouse. You have everything that I envy.”

“But aren’t you lonely? None of this is out of the ordinary for you. You’ve accompanied humanity from birth to extinction.” Kersz proceeded to rest his head on Yu Xi’s shoulder. They were about the same height, so Kersz had to actively lean down. “I think you’ll be able to find a story similar to mine in your memories.”

Kersz lowered his voice: “Or perhaps a hundred times more miserable than mine.”

Yu Xi was indeed able to locate one, but he felt that there was no particular connection between the two.

“You’re obsessed with humanity, and I just so happen to be a human. I’m destined to repeat those clichéd stories in your head, but I pose no threat to you. Just think of me as a little mouse running around and getting into trouble,” Kersz said. “It may be very noisy and annoying, but you would be bored if you killed it, right?”

“Your story isn’t a cliché,” Yu Xi corrected. “If it were really that boring, you wouldn’t have become a reckless space pirate.”

Kersz tilted his head up: “There are plenty of space pirates out there.”

“Then there are many contradictions in the world.”

“I thought you would advise me to be more rational.” Kersz was a little surprised.

“I have seen absolutely rational humans.” Yu Xi didn’t believe that Kersz was capable of that level of detachment. “You don’t have to be rational.”

“You can be angry, and you can lose control. That is your right,” Yu Xi said.

Kersz raised an eyebrow.

“Especially once you realize that you truly can’t leave this planet,” Yu Xi added at the end.

Kersz: …..

“Having a temper tantrum over it isn’t a problem. You can maintain your individuality.” Yu Xi reassured him, “For the sake of your safety, I will not allow you to leave and put your life in danger.”

Kersz slowly released Yu Xi and took a step back.

Yu Xi could hear Kersz’s heartbeat quickening. He was probably angry.

But Kersz didn’t erupt: “With such a large society of humans out there, you really aren’t going to have a look?” Yu Xi seemed to be obsessed with humanity.

Kersz and Yu Xi stared at each other.

After a long period of eye contact, Yu Xi slowly looked away.

He was indeed a little curious.

Just a little. 

If human lives were truly worth so little, could he secretly pick up a few more?

“I’m very familiar with the state of affairs, and I can help you deceive people, ah.” Kersz clutched his chest. “I’m a space pirate!”

Yu Xi: “T-that’s not a good idea.” His gaze dropped to the tips of his toes.

“What kind of people do you like?” Kersz asked.

“I don’t know. I’m just a robot.” Yu Xi felt that he shouldn’t have any specific preferences.

“I can find all sorts of people for you, and you can choose whichever ones you like,” Kersz offered with enthusiasm.

“Not a good idea.” Yu Xi lightly moved the tips of his toes.

“I’m the one who’ll do the kidnapping. I’m a space pirate, and it will be my fault for forcing you into this,” Kersz declared immediately.

“Aiya, this…..” Yu Xi pursed his lips.

Yu Xi felt a bit awkward, but if this was something the human insisted on doing…..

“I-I’ll think about it.” What kind of person did he actually like?

Kersz’s heartbeat slowed down. His adaptability was truly remarkable.

To be honest, if Kersz hadn’t told him, Yu Xi would have never known that the human hadn’t eaten proper food before. At the time, he had acted as if eating it was perfectly normal.

“I work very quickly, and I’m an exceptional space pirate.” Kersz followed Yu Xi around the botanical garden, picking and eating fruit as he went.

As Yu Xi walked, he suddenly noticed that he could no longer hear Kersz’s footsteps.

When he turned his head, he found that Kersz was staring at a vegetable in his hand – a small chili pepper that had been bitten in half.

“Is this poisonous?” Kersz asked Yu Xi.

“No.” Yu Xi shook his head.

“Is it food?” Kersz proceeded to ask.

Yu Xi nodded.

Kersz: “It hurts so much.”

Yu Xi comforted him: “That’s normal.”

Kersz: “Why did the ancient humans like these things?”

Yu Xi felt that Kersz had likely never been exposed to peppers before, and that even if he explained it to him, he wouldn’t understand this kind of self-torture.

However, Yu Xi remembered that people used to equivocate sexiness with “hotness.”

“It makes you sexy,” Yu Xi said.

Kersz: ……

A panel appeared in front of Kersz, reflecting his flushed cheeks and slightly upturned lips.

Kersz: “Wow~”

“Oh, and your orifice will also hurt.” Yu Xi remembered this important bit of information.

Kersz: “My mouth already hurts.”

“Yes, but you should know that humans have two openings.” Yu Xi looked somewhat awkward. “Be careful of your, uh, other one…..”

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Chapter 3 << Table of Contents >> Chapter 5