Ch. 69 – Hao Thick Face

Hao Chen still wasn’t entirely certain if Feng Ye knew who he was.

Because Feng Ye’s two inquiries seemed like he was deliberately teasing him, but also like he was just looking for someone to agree with him.

Unsure of the current situation, Hao Chen didn’t speak rashly out of an abundance of caution, giving an ambiguous, “En.”

Although calling someone fat wasn’t a good thing in the human world, it wasn’t the same for beasts. A plump body symbolized strength, so the crab judged Feng Ye’s words to be a compliment to his Lord. He had no objections, and blew bubbles in agreement.

Of course, Hao Chen was of a different opinion. He had long since gotten rid of his primitive aesthetics, and didn’t want to admit that he was fat. But he was in no position to refute. After all, Feng Ye was talking about the Lord of the North Sea, the Kunpeng, who was tens of thousands of li long – not him, an ordinary disciple of Tiangong Pavilion.

He had no choice but to accept this loss. Hao Chen held his mini fan, maintaining a superficial smile.

When the crab was finished boasting, he returned to his stall. Although their acquaintance had begun with a misunderstanding, after chatting back and forth, the four of them seemed to have become more familiar with the vendor.

Fang Yang couldn’t restrain his curiosity, and crouched down on the ground to ask the crab: “What are you selling?”

He looked left and right, but still couldn’t tell what should be on display in this empty stall. Could it be that this crab was selling himself?

The crab really was selling himself, or rather, his labor.

The crab looked at Fang Yang with the two eyes on its forehead and proudly explained: “I’m a tour guide. I provide guided tours for people visiting North Sea City for the first time.”

“Tour guide?” Fang Yang’s eyes lit up. Weren’t the four of them visiting North Sea City for the first time?

“Then can you be our tour guide?” Fang Yang asked excitedly.

The crab agreed, But at the same time, he stretched out a claw toward Fang Yang, not to attack, but to request money: “One thousand spirit stones.”

One thousand spirit stones. Feng Ye had just calculated this number not long ago, and reacted quickly at this moment.

A normal tour guide would only charge three to five spirit stones at most, yet this crab dared to ask for one thousand spirit stones, which was the equivalent of the black-grade robes he had set his sights on but couldn’t afford.

Feng Ye couldn’t help but take a closer look at the crab’s shell. It was clearly a blue crab, so why was its heart so black – just like a certain fish?

Cao Zirui didn’t say anything, but as the only wealthy person among the four, even he felt that this price was too high.

And Fang Yang was so stunned by this number that he didn’t react at all.

When the crab held his claw outstretched for a long time without receiving a single penny, he became unhappy: “Is it too expensive for you?”

Nobody answered, but their expressions clearly indicated that it was indeed too expensive.

“Hmph!” The crab clasped his claws across his chest as if folding his arms, and said in a huff: “You get what you pay for. Although our Lord is the master of North Sea City, he’s far away in the heavens and won’t easily interfere in mortal affairs. The one who really has the final say in this city is my cousin, Proprietor Crab.”

Sure enough, this crab is related to Proprietor Crab, Feng Ye thought.

And a certain lord who should have been far away in the heavens began to wonder if the city really belonged to him, or if these crabs were just using his name for clout.

But he was unable to come to a conclusion. It was just that he had so many assets. Being so rich that you can’t keep track of what you own is distressing, Hao Chen lamented.

The crab continued: “I am Crab Eighteen, Proprietor Crab’s eighteenth cousin. Regardless of whether or not you’re an outsider, as long as you have us crabs as tour guides, no stores, big or small, will dare to overcharge you. If you’re here to buy things, you can save more than these one thousand spirit stones with one of us as your guide.”

Translated, this meant that he charged a fair price and was not black-hearted.

But no matter how fair it was, three of the four people had no money and showed no enthusiasm.

Only Cao Zirui seemed to be deep in thought. He had consumed a lot of his materials inside the Floating Island Secret Realm, and many of his medicines and elixirs were depleted. It was time to purchase some.

The crab added the final log to the fire, pointing with his pincers at the pearl Fang Yang had been holding in his hand: “What did the one who sold you that pearl say? Did he tell you that it was formed by a hundred-year-old clam spirit?”

The crab was completely correct. Fang Yang and Cao Zirui exchanged glances, then looked back at the crab.

The crab said proudly: “He just scammed you. How could a pearl from a hundred-year-old clam spirit be so cheap? Judging by the quality of the pearl, the clam must have been no more than fifty years old, and the price should have been no more than fifty spirit stones. How much did you pay?”

He said this with great conviction. These two humans didn’t look very smart. Moreover, most sea monsters were simple and honest, but those who could survive in North Sea City were all cunning and treacherous.

In any case, these humans usually only came once every ten years, so it was a one-time deal. Therefore, most of the monsters running the stalls ripped off as many customers as possible, cheating them to the bone.

Fang Yang and Cao Zirui looked at each other again. Cao Zirui glanced at the pearl and back. Without another word, he pulled out one thousand spirit stones and passed them into the crab’s claws.

“It’s a deal.” Although the crab’s claws were large, they moved very flexibly, and he finalized the deal while counting out the spirit stones.

Since he had successfully sold himself, there was no need to keep the stall up any longer.

When Feng Ye and the others looked at the naked crab curiously, wondering where he would put the spirit stones, the crab placed them on the rag that made up his stall.

Then he used his claws to roll the rag up around them, making a quick, simple package. The crab picked up a small branch from nearby, attached it to the package, and picked it up, ready to go: “Guide Crab Eighteen is here to serve. Where would you like to visit, and what do you want to buy?”

He now had the air of a consummate professional. 

The four people stared in amazement. 

After a moment, Cao Zirui realized that he was the one who had paid for the tour guide. Crab Eighteen was very perceptive, and could see that he was the only one with wealth among the four-man group. Therefore, although he had asked them as a group, he was actually directing the question toward Cao Zirui.

Cao Zirui touched his storage bag in thought, then decided that he should first replenish his defensive magic weapons.

Although he already had quite a few magic tools, it would be best to prepare a few more in case he needed them at a critical moment. During his trip to the Floating Island Secret Realm, he had gained a profound understanding of this.

When he heard this, the crab waved his claws and said: “Understood.”

Then he took up a sideways posture as he walked down the street, one eye on the path ahead and the other eye making sure the tourists were following closely behind.

Feng Ye: “……” It had to be said that sideways-walking crabs had a natural advantage when it came to the tour guide profession. They never had to worry about losing sight of their charges.

And according to his observations along the way, he found that all of the crab clan walked sideways through North Sea City.

As the group made their way to a shop selling defensive magic tools, Crab Eighteen cleared the way for them. Some vendors had set up shop wherever they pleased, blocking the middle of the road. But when they caught sight of Crab Eighteen, they plucked up their wares from the ground and fled as if he was a city management officer.

Crab Eighteen gave a “hmph” and didn’t chase after them. He just griped to the four people behind him: “We’ve told them that they can’t block the road, but there are always some people who don’t follow the rules.”

The four people who had been blocking the road while they talked not long ago: “…..”

North Sea City was indeed the largest island in the North Sea. It took the four people and one crab half an incense stick’s time to finally reach their destination.

Crab Eighteen pointed at the nearby shop, motioning for them to go inside.

“Turtle Shell Shop.” Fang Yang glanced up at the placard.

Cao Zirui inspected the store. The decoration style was very grand, and seemed much more reliable than those roadside stalls.

The four of them walked inside, and the first thing to catch their eye was the dozens of turtle shells on the wall opposite the door.

And the hunchbacked shopkeeper standing behind the counter with his hands tucked into his sleeves.

The hunchbacked shopkeeper smiled as he greeted Crab Eighteen: “Eighteen, are you bringing business to me again?”

Crab Eighteen shook the package in his claws and said: “I’m just working for pay.”

After saying this, he turned and said to the four people: “The best defensive magic tools in the city are the turtle shells from this Turtle Shell Shop. Each of them is made using genuine shells from spiritual turtles with profound cultivation. Their defensive power is comparable to that of your human earth-grade magic weapons, and the price is fair, no deception.”

There was nothing wrong with Crab Eighteen’s introduction, and Feng Ye could see that the defensive power of the turtle shells was indeed as he said, but this shop…..

While Fang Yang and Cao Zirui focused their attention on the turtle shells, Feng Ye couldn’t help but walk up to the counter and ask the hunchbacked shopkeeper: “Boss, you also seem to be….” A turtle too?

Did it not hurt his conscience to sell the corpses of his own kind?

Feng Ye didn’t finish his sentence, but the hunchbacked shopkeeper understood at once. After all, most people who came to this store for the first time asked such a question.

He didn’t get angry, but replied with a smile: “Guests coming from afar may not know that around here, dead is dead. There is no such thing as a peaceful burial like you humans prefer. We all live underwater, only coming ashore to do business. We live and die in the sea, and cannot be buried beneath the earth.”

He turned his head and pointed at a turtle shell on the wall: “These were all left behind by our ancestors, who died either naturally or by accident. Their souls have dispersed, and a body is just a body, no different from herbs or minerals. It is better to use them to refine magic tools and make contributions to the clan.”

“When I die in the future, my turtle shell will become one of the commodities here.” The hunchbacked shopkeeper maintained his smile when speaking of his own fate, as if it didn’t bother him at all.

This was very different from the human world, where people had always been sensitive about death, and had to spit three times after even mentioning the word.

After hearing what the hunchbacked shopkeeper said, Fang Yang and Cao Zirui also realized that he was a turtle, and that this wall was covered in the corpses of his brethren. Although the shopkeeper had given them an explanation, they still found this difficult to accept right away.

Feng Ye nodded. This idea was novel and very open-minded. He may not be able to accept it, but he would respect the customs of others.

Hao Chen didn’t say a word about the hunchbacked shopkeeper’s remarks. He didn’t find it strange – in fact, this was tradition in the North Sea.

However, when he saw the wall covered in turtle shells, they awakened some distant memories in Hao Chen. He glanced at Feng Ye with a slightly guilty conscience, fearing that he would discover a certain secret.

Good things couldn’t be thought into existence, but bad things could. Just as he had this thought, Feng Ye figured it out.

Feng Ye hesitantly pointed at a turtle shell on the wall and asked: “It seems that turtle shells aren’t the only thing you sell here, right?”

About half the wall was covered in neatly-patterned turtle shells, but there was still a small half where the shells were bare, and looked more like those of a tortoise than a turtle.

“Ignorant human.” Before the hunchbacked shopkeeper could explain, Crab Eighteen stood up with a disdainful snort.

Hao Chen’s eyebrow twitched. He had a bad feeling about this.

Sure enough, Crab Eighteen said: “In our North Sea, a tortoise is a turtle.”

Hao Chen couldn’t help but open his mini fan, wishing he could kill the crab before it revealed this secret. 

But if he took action here, Feng Ye would definitely notice. In the end, all Hao Chen could do was try to cover his face with his shrunken fan.

Feng Ye looked back to find that a certain person was trying to cover his eyes with his small fan, thinking that this would hide his big face. He seemed to have sensed a hint of killing intent just now.

He turned back to Crab Eighteen, who was obviously the one Hao Chen wanted to silence. Feng Ye couldn’t help but grow curious. What secret could make Hao Chen, whose skin was as thick as a city wall, want to kill the crab to silence him?

Crab Eighteen continued, completely unaware: “The story begins a long time ago. Although the North Sea is ruled by our Lord, various clans subservient to him still act independently and have occasional fights over territory. 

“Fighting is fine, but after fighting, they must still go to our Lord to seek justice. This annoyed him very much, but he couldn’t find any other solution. One day, when our Lord was visiting a human town, he happened to hear about a human myth.”

“How can mortals understand the graceful bearing of gods? The stories they tell are all fabricated nonsense! But…..” Crab Eighteen changed his tone. “Sometimes, humans are very clever.”

“In their story, they said that there was a magnificent dragon palace at the bottom of the sea, where night pearls are used for lighting and the walls are made of coral. The Dragon King commanded the sea clans, and for easier management, he established six departments, each headed by a minister.”

“It was just a complete transfer of human political trends into a story. At that time, the jiao in the Southern Sea had not yet become Yinglong, and in the entire world, only one dragon existed in the Eastern Sea. But there was no dragon palace at the bottom of that sea, much less six political departments.”

“Although it was all human nonsense, our Lord thought of a good idea because of it. When he returned from that town, he summoned all of the clans in the North Sea and ordered them to build him a palace as magnificent as the one described in the story. Then he selected five strong clans of equal strength to take charge of various matters. Humans call these the six ministries, but in the North Sea, they are the five Sea Masters.”

“With the five Sea Masters from the five clans, everything was ready except for a prime minister.”

“The turtle clan is long-lived and wise, making one of them the perfect candidate for prime minister. And as the story said, every dragon palace has a turtle prime minister, so there should be one in the North Sea as well. Our Lord wanted to imitate the human Imperial Examinations and choose the turtle with the highest test score as prime minister.”

“However, our Lord would go on a tour of the North Sea after dinner each day, and was so exhausted that he fell asleep before the tests were even carried out.”

Isn’t this just taking a stroll after a meal to aid digestion and relieve tiredness? Feng Ye thought with a dark face. But in Crab Eighteen’s mouth, it sounded like Hao Chen had suffered terribly on behalf of the North Sea clans.

If Crab Eighteen had said this before he met Hao Chen, he might have believed it. But after getting to know Hao Chen, he was entirely certain that his own estimation of him was correct, and that Crab Eighteen’s words were simply those of a fanatic.

Unaware of Feng Ye’s inner ridicule, Crab Eighteen continued: “Our Lord was tired and wanted to sleep, so he had no time to prepare the test papers. But he sometimes sleeps for dozens or hundreds of years, and if he didn’t appoint a prime minister before going to sleep, there would be no one to oversee the five Sea Masters he appointed or take charge of palace construction. So before going to sleep, he randomly selected a turtle as prime minister.”

“However…..” When Crab Eighteen finally got to the point, Hao Chen could barely restrain himself, yearning to kill him on the spot.

Unfortunately, Feng Ye noticed his intentions in time. Before Hao Chen could actually make a move, he took a sudden step back to stand beside Hao Chen and placed an arm around his shoulders in a somewhat intimate manner.

This seemed like very normal behavior between friends. It was common for men to put an arm around another’s shoulders, and the others listening to the story took no notice of this.

But to Hao Chen, Feng Ye was not a friend.

This was a relationship that went beyond friendship. So even though he knew Feng Ye had put an arm around his shoulders solely because he had sensed his killing intent and wanted to prevent him from attacking, he still couldn’t help being a little distracted by such closeness.

In an instant, he forgot about attacking, which allowed Crab Eighteen to finally expose the secret he had tried so hard to hide.

“Our Lord was a little hazy before he went to sleep, and the turtle he picked out was actually not a turtle.”

The answer was so obvious that even Fang Yang was able to guess it: “A tortoise?”

The hunchbacked shopkeeper nodded affirmatively, and took over the story from Crab Eighteen: “Although everyone knew that our Lord had chosen the wrong turtle, he fell asleep right after picking him, and we didn’t dare disturb him. Several matters still needed to be handled by a prime minister, so even if he wasn’t the right one, ‘Prime Minister Turtle’ still had to take office.”

“A hundred years later, our Lord woke up and realized that he had called a tortoise a turtle. But…..you should also know…..” the hunchbacked shopkeeper smiled: “Our Lord must have been concerned about his reputation. To save face for him, we all tacitly say that ‘Prime Minister Turtle’ is a turtle, not a tortoise.”

“Thus, in the North Sea, a tortoise is equivalent to a turtle,” Crab Eighteen summarized.

There was a brief silence.

“Pfft!” Fang Yang was the first to burst out laughing, and then Cao Zirui was unable to maintain his cold face, his lips curling uncontrollably.

As laughter rang out, Hao Chen, who had been distracted by Feng Ye’s closeness, immediately came to his senses with the realization that his reputation was unsalvageable.

His hand clenched tightly around his mini fan. The spiritual energy around him became disordered, and he looked as if he was about to fly into a rage out of embarrassment.

“Cough, cough.” Feng Ye coughed to mask the laughter bubbling up in his throat.

Realizing that the fish he was holding was about to go berserk, he didn’t antagonize him by laughing. Instead, he put on a mask of seriousness and tilted his head to glance at Hao Chen, saying: “I’ve always heard of the Kunpeng’s great reputation, but I didn’t expect to find out today that…..”

Find out what? Hao Chen waited anxiously for Feng Ye to finish, but it could be expected that according to Feng Ye’s usual behavior of criticizing him when he could and making opportunities to do so when he could not, it wouldn’t be anything good.

Feng Ye finding out about this stain on his reputation was enough for him to laugh about for the rest of his life.

His entire life’s reputation had been ruined by this crab. At this thought, Hao Chen couldn’t help but glare fiercely at the ignorant crab, wanting to beat this loudmouth to death.

Seeing this, Feng Ye suddenly smiled. His serious expression vanished, and the smile on his face shone from the bottom of his heart: “…..that this dignified Lord of the North Sea is also quite cute.”

Hao Chen stared at Feng Ye’s smile in a daze. He didn’t know whether this smile had some strange soul-stirring power, or if it was the magnetic voice resonating in his ears that was so captivating. 

Hao Chen covered his chest, his heart palpitating yet again.

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Chapter 68 << Table of Contents >> Chapter 70