At 2 o’clock in the morning, He Chuzhou had no time to change clothes, and simply put a jacket on over his pajamas before rushing out.

There was very little traffic along the way. When he passed by a 24-hour supermarket, he stopped and bought a portion of seafood porridge and preserved egg and lean meat porridge. Fearing that it would be too bland, he also bought some clear soup oden and then got into the car and drove to Pei Xi’s residence.

He entered the password and opened the door. The living room was dark and quiet. Walking farther in, it was the same with the bedroom. There was no light coming through the crack in the door.

He couldn’t have passed out from the fever, could he?

This conjecture gave him a shock, and he strode quickly toward the room while carrying the two portions of porridge. If the hallway wasn’t so short, he probably would have been running.

The door to the bedroom was unlocked. Pushing it open, he groped around for the switch and turned on the lights. Cold white light poured down from above, instantly filling the room.

There was no human figure as far as the eye could see, only a slight ripple under the quilt. This person was covered so tightly that not even the top of his head was exposed.

“Silly, do you mean to suffocate yourself after you pass out from the fever?”

He set down the packaging bag and bent over to bed to fish out this fainted ostrich.

Before he even saw him, the temperature his hands touched had already made him frown: “So hot.”

Pei Xi vaguely sensed that someone was there and tried to open his eyes, but his pupils couldn’t adapt to the bright light. After several attempts, he could only catch a complete figure through slitted eyes.

But it was enough for him to recognize him.

“Chuzhou.”

His voice was already hoarse from the coldness bearing down on him, and sounded even more pitiful in person than it had on the phone. 

It upset He Chuzhou to hear this. Why did illness have to hit at his weakest moment? It saw the weak Pei-calico and bullied him, right?

Why couldn’t it have been him who caught a cold?

He recovered from illness quickly. Even if his fever reached 40 degrees, he could drive himself to the hospital. He was a hard-to-kill patient, saving time, effort, and worry.

“It’s me, it’s okay. Let’s go to the hospital now.”

He reached out to pick this person up, but Pei Xi shrunk back in resistance and refused: “I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

“If you don’t go to the hospital, you’ll be burned out by the fever in a while. I’m with you, so what’s there to be afraid of?”

He approached again, but Pei Xi still stubborning shook his head and shrank inward.

He Chuzhou clicked his tongue and raised his voice a bit: “Pei Xinxin, behave yourself!”

Pei Xi: “Chuzhou, I’m too cold.”

The two spoke nearly at the same time, but Pei Xi’s voice was so soft. He Chuzhou was taken back for a second and subconsciously lowered his voice again: “Cold? Is it very cold?”

“Very cold. My whole body is cold.”

Pei Xi reached a hand out from the side and grabbed the fabric on He Chuzhou’s arm. His half-opened eyes seemed to be covered in a sheen of mist, struggling to focus: “Chuzhou, hug me.”

“Hug me and keep me warm.”

The expected hug didn’t come after he spoke. Pei Xi’s eyelashes trembled, and he relaxed his fingertips in disappointment. 

In the room where one could hear a pin drop, there was a helpless sigh.

In the next second, the spot next to him sank and a corner of the quilt was lifted. Before the cold air could sneak in, a warm body pressed against him first. 

Long arms wrapped around his waist, and he fell into a strong, broad embrace. The familiar clean smell put him very much at ease.

“Using such coquettishness to deal with me, you must’ve been sure I’d bite!”

He Chuzhou gritted his teeth, but his movements were the exact opposite, as if he feared that a heavier touch would make him crumble.

“This is the last time. It won’t work next time, you know? How can I go along with you like this all the time? Do you want me to have any face left?”

Pei Xi’s muffled voice came from the direction of his chest: “Why do you care about having face with a child?”

He Chuzhou: “……”

The choked silence made Pei Xi’s lips curve uncontrollably. He lowered his head to bury himself deeper.

He said there would be no next time.

After all this time, he had never seen that “next time” where it didn’t work.

A warm bed was fine, but he also had to go to the hospital.

He Chuzhou waited until the body in his arms stopped shaking so violently, and when his resistance was as strong as before, he swiftly carried this person downstairs and rushed to the hospital. 

There were not many patients at this point in time. They went upstairs from the outpatient reception room and a doctor took Pei Xi’s temperature. With a high temperature of 39 degrees, it was no wonder this person couldn’t quite wake up from his fever. 

“The change in seasonal temperature is great this year, and more people are catching colds. You should pay attention to keeping warm and exercising.”

“In addition, a balance between work and rest is essential. The patient is largely overworked, which gave the virus the opportunity to take advantage. When you go home, make sure the patient rests well and drinks more warm water. Remember to open a window for ventilation…..”

He Chuzhou noted down the doctor’s every order and returned to the ward to accompany Pei Xi for an intravenous injection.

Pei Xi was surprisingly obedient during his injection. He didn’t resist or struggle, and only winced when the needle pierced the back of his hand. The rest of the time, he tilted his head to look unblinkingly at He Chuzhou.

He Chuzhou asked him in a low voice if he was hungry, and he shook his head. He asked if he was thirsty or sleepy, and he also shook his head.

He didn’t speak, only looked, occasionally moving his fingers to hook the cuff of He Chuzhou’s shirt or his little finger. His long eyelashes cast a shadow on the porcelain-white skin under his eyes.

Those small movements melted He Chuzhou’s heart, so he placed the other’s hand into his palm and covered it, telling him many jokes He Aiyue had made since childhood.

Once the IV was finished and the fever had subsided, he took this person home with some medicine.

The sick Pei-calico was not only good, but also twice as clingy as usual.

He seemed to have turned into a small animal that was unfamiliar with everything. Only in its infancy could it feel safe, and only by lying on the shoulders of a great beast was it free to observe the world.

In other words, he basically couldn’t be away from He Chuzhou.

He Chuzhou carried him out of the car and back to the bedroom. When he was leaving to heat up the porridge for him to eat, Pei Xi immediately sat up in bed and moved to follow.

There was nothing He Chuzhou could do, so he came up with an idea on the spur of a moment.

He downloaded a children’s stopwatch on his cell phone and pointed at the colorful balls on it, saying to Pei Xi: “I’ll be back before the 300th ball drops. If I’m not back by then, will you come and find me in the kitchen?”

300 balls. 300 seconds. It was more than enough time to heat up a serving of seafood porridge.

Seeing Pei Xi lay back and start counting silently, he picked up the bag and turned toward the kitchen. Pouring the porridge into a bowl and putting it in the microwave, he set the time to two minutes. As soon as the beep sounded, he immediately took the bowl back to the bedroom all in one go.

“234, 257, 289…..”

As soon as he approached the door, he heard such a burst of chanting. Choked with emotion, He Chuzhou quickened his steps.

Counting aloud instead of silently, it was obvious that someone was truly impatient.

On the 300 mark, he stepped into the room. Unsurprisingly, he earned himself some disdain: “Chuzhou, you’re so slow.”

He Chuzhou accepted this without question: “Yes, yes, I’m slow. Slower than the tortoise in the square fountain pool.”

As he spoke, he walked over and sat at the bedside: “Come on, it’s been a long night. Eat something and go to sleep.”

For fear of burning him, he fed him the porridge very carefully, turning the spoon back and forth to cool it down and blowing on it a few times before each mouthful. He also asked Pei Xi how it tasted and whether it was too bland and unappetizing.

When Pei Xi said he couldn’t eat anymore, there was less than half left in the bowl. He Chuzhou set aside the bowl after eating two or three mouthfuls and turned around to see Pei Xi looking at him intently.

“What is it?” he asked. “Are you sleepy?”

Pei Xi shook his head. Then he leaned forward and hugged him hard.

Having been pounced on, He Chuzhou subconsciously hugged him back. He felt Pei Xi rub his forehead against the side of his neck, his nose brushing the tip of his ear.

A familiar tingling feeling soon spread throughout his whole body. This coquettish Pei-calico was so sweet that he couldn’t resist, unable to move his hands and push him away. He could only pull back stiffly.

Until he heard a murmur in his ear: “It turns out this is how it feels to have someone take care of you when you’re sick. No wonder……”

He Chuzhou shifted: “What?”

Pei Xi lowered his head, saying: “No wonder he always liked to say he was feeling uncomfortable or sick. Even if he bumped into the corner of a table, he would make a fuss for half a day.”

He Chuzhou didn’t understand, but placed a palm on his back and rubbed it comfortingly: “Xinxin, who made a fuss?”

“Pei Zhen.” Pei Xi tilted his head to rest it on his shoulder: “He made a huge fuss. It obviously didn’t hurt, and the place he hit it wasn’t even red.”

“But Dad would still believe him. He would show care for him and put down his work to coax him for a long time.”

“He never took care of me when I was sick. When I called for him, he would just say he was busy, that Pei Zhen wasn’t feeling well and he couldn’t spare the time. He would tell me to go to the hospital by myself.”

“I didn’t have the energy to go to the hospital, so I could only find some medicine in that house and lay down after taking it. I was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t sleep, so I could only count the seconds with my eyes open until dawn.”

“Every time. Every time, it was like this. When I ultimately felt so unwell that I couldn’t hold on anymore, I would go to the hospital alone. When the blood flowed back as I slept while being given an IV, only the nurse would notice.”

“He left me there alone, without a care for whether or not I was doing well. Regardless of if I was getting by well or not, he only cared about whether Pei Zhen would go crazy when he saw me, and if his mental condition could be improved.”

“But why?”

“Aren’t we the same?”

“In a family, are the adults more willing to love someone younger, or the one whose love is more fulfilling to them? Was I not enough, so they didn’t love me?”

He Chuzhou often thought that Pei-calico’s spirit resided in an imaginary world. Everything about him was incompatible with Pei Xi, such as complaining that he didn’t like to get up early, or acting spoiled when he was sick.

Another example was right now. He didn’t know if the younger brother Pei Xi spoke of even existed, nor if those nights of silent suffering while ill had actually happened.

But so what?

Pei-calico was so simple and kind, unable to lie. He was just speaking of what he knew.

So even if it was fake, that didn’t prevent him from feeling sorry for Pei-calico at this moment. He would condemn anyone who made him unhappy.

“Xinxin, you are good enough. Don’t judge yourself based on the opinions of those around you.”

He rubbed the back of Pei Xi’s head and gently taught him how to be self-confident: “Those who don’t love you just don’t know your true value. And if they don’t know your value, why should you heed their opinions?”

Pei Xi was silent for a couple of seconds, then raised his head to look at He Chuzhou. He said uncertainly: “But…..am I really good enough?”

“Of course!” 

He Chuzhou didn’t hesitate: “You are more than good enough. Only a good person will feel that he’s not good enough.”

“But I’m not a good older brother.”

Pei Xi bit his lip: “I don’t like Pei Zhen, just as he doesn’t like me. I didn’t do my best…..”

He Chuzhou: “Who created the rule that an older brother must like his younger brother? Shouldn’t it depend on whether the younger brother is lovable or not?”

“You can do everything well except liking him, so the one who should reflect on himself is not you, but him.”

“Besides, what reason can someone have not to love a child? It’s a natural instinct to dote on them unconditionally. If you have to be the best to be worthy of love, is that love or them taking advantage of you?”

“It’s a common problem among many failed Chinese families that the one who is loved the most is always the most useless one. What is the explanation for this?”

What was the explanation?

Pei Xi shook his head blankly. He had never thought about it. He didn’t know.

He Chuzhou: “The explanation is that there is no reason to be partial. This kind of love isn’t worth much. Throw it on the ground, crush it, and don’t pick it back up. We don’t care about it.”

“Don’t compete with trash for favor, and don’t beg for a defective product. You’re no longer on their level. Those pieces of work aren’t worthy of your consideration.”

This was an argument Pei Xi had never heard before. He was somewhat unable to react, and his expression and red-rimmed eyes looked a bit obedient and foolish.

He Chuzhou hugged his waist and waited for him to digest this. Suddenly, he remembered another thing and narrowed his eyes: “Wait, so this is the reason you don’t want to call me gege?”

Pei Xi’s digestion process was disrupted by him. His eyes widened slightly and he looked even more stunned: “Who said…..didn’t you say you don’t like it?”

He Chuzhou promptly took in a deep breath.

How many days had it been!

He’d finally found the opportunity to talk about this matter that was constantly stuck in his throat!

“I don’t like it?”

“I absolutely love it, okay?”

“You call it so nicely. I wish I could shrink you down and put you on my shoulder so you could call me that every day. How could I not like it?”

Pei Xi: “But that day, you told me not to address you that way……”

He Chuzhou: “I just spoke nonsense to save face. Who knew you would take it seriously?”

Pei Xi: “Then that’s not the case anymore?”

“Right.”

He Chuzhou didn’t even pause to think: “What’s the use of face? If you save so much of it, can you go to the supermarket and exchange it for another one? Or when zombies siege the city, can you bake it in a pot to sate your hunger?”

“It’s not important. A hundred faces aren’t as important as you calling me gege.”

Pei Xi’s eyes shone. Lips pursed, his expression seemed a little embarrassed, but his eyes still curved as he obediently called him Gege.

He Chuzhou nearly cried with joy. He wanted to go downstairs and run 800 laps around the Third Ring Road.

But he was endlessly greedy. Before running, he pinched Pei Xi’s earlobe and coaxed: “Call me that again?”

“Gege.”

Pei Xi laughed.

Hugging his neck, he pressed their foreheads together, their straight noses touching.

Then he closed his eyes and nuzzled He Chuzhou like a kitten: “Gege.”

*

*

The days were growing increasingly short in Wancheng, and dawn came later and later.

It was nearly morning, and the sky above was still full of stars.

There was no heat in the bathroom where he had just showered. He Chuzhou wiped the cold water from his body and came out. The person he had just put in bed to sleep was still breathing deeply.

Wu Qing’s phone call came out of nowhere. Taking his cell phone, he walked out of the room before answering it: “It’s so early in the morning. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

Wu Qing: “What’s with your disgruntled tone? Besides, my biological clock won’t let me sleep at this time.”

He Chuzhou: “If you have something to say, say it.”

Wu Qing: “Someone saw you walking around the hospital late at night. I’m calling out of concern for you. What’s the matter?”

He Chuzhou: “Pei…..President Pei has a fever, so I took him to get an IV. Where did you get such a capable spy?”

Wu Qing said: “It couldn’t be helped, I have friends all over the world. But your voice doesn’t sound like you just woke up. Is the fever so serious? You haven’t slept all night.”

“No, it’s going down.”

He Chuzhou paused for a second or two after speaking. Putting his hands on his hips, he glanced back toward the bedroom and said abruptly: “I want to ask you something.”

Wu Qing: “Go ahead.”

“Why does my state seem to be a little abnormal^[1] recently?”

Wu Qing: “ ? ”

Wu Qing: “Abnormal?”

He Chuzhou: “Is this normal?”

Wu Qing: “You’re abnormal???”

Wu Qing: “Brother, please, you ate pork and forgot that pigs can run? You already have a boyfriend. What’s not normal is not being abnormal after holding it in for so many years, right?!”

He Chuzhou didn’t pay close attention to what he said about pigs running. But after he said the word “boyfriend,” the corners of his mouth escaped his control for some reason.

When he realized soon after, he suppressed them with a frown: “That’s not what I said.”

“Forget it, you know nothing.”

Wu Qing: “? ? ? ? ?”

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[1] Okay, so this joke was impossible for me to convert  to English, but the abnormal (变态) used here can also mean perverted or horny. Substitute “abnormal” for “horny” and it will all make sense. ⮐

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Chapter 29 << Table of Contents >> Chapter 31