Pei Xi knew he shouldn’t have called He Chuzhou. That he shouldn’t have asked him to pick him up. That he shouldn’t make him show up at this time.

But he couldn’t help it.

A chill wind mixed with frost and snow had pierced his bones, filling them with cracks. He had lost all feeling, and was so fragile that he could barely support the weight of his body.

There had never been a moment like now where he so strongly wanted someone to be with him, to take his side without asking questions and stand firmly by him.

Pei Yansong had already gone out.

He sat alone in the study for a long time, until he heard a noise downstairs and his phone lit up with a message:

[I’m here, come down quickly.]

As if waking up from a dream, he picked up his phone and raced down the stairs. He Chuzhou was standing at the entrance, and his tense face relaxed when he saw that Pei Xi was safe and sound.

Jiang Ting held Pei Zhen’s shoulders and stood awkwardly by the sofa, looking at the person at the door with hope. Unaware of the truth, she thought He Chuzhou had been called over to help with Pei Zhen’s admission qualifications.

Pei Yansong was closer to the door, but judging from his expression, the small talk hadn’t been very successful.

Pei Yansong’s gaze fell on Pei Xi when he passed by. As he watched Pei Xi approach He Chuzhou and heard the man speak to him in a low voice full of concern, his expression became even uglier than before.

But he was a man who had fought on the field of fame and wealth for decades. He quickly controlled his emotions and straightened his expression, then said calmly: “President He is here to see Pei Xi? The time is just right, would you like to stay for dinner?”

He Chuzhou frowned as he held Pei Xi’s cold hand. When he heard Pei Yansong’s voice, a trace of annoyance rose in his mind, and his last trace of calm sufferance disappeared.

“I’m in a hurry, so I’ll have to decline.”

The corners of his mouth rose as he looked at Pei Yansong, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes: “You and your family can enjoy your meal. We won’t intrude.”

Jiang Ting then realized that He Chuzhou wasn’t here to offer his help. She had no say in the matter and dared not speak, so she could only look at her husband anxiously in hopes that he could keep him here.

Pei Yansong heard the sarcasm in He Chuzhou’s words. Seeing that the two were about to leave, his face darkened again – not at He Chuzhou, but at Pei Xi: “Pei Xi, didn’t you say that you and President He aren’t familiar with each other?”

He Chuzhou paused, turning his head to look at Pei Xi.

The latter asked coldly: “We’re not unfamiliar. Did you really think I would promise you his help? Is Pei Zhen worthy?”

Pei Yansong hadn’t expected him to speak so bluntly, to the point of it being unpleasant to the ear.

His authority as a father had been challenged, and he flew into a rage: “Pei Xi, watch your attitude!”

“Regardless of whether or not you’ve paid attention, this has always been my attitude.”

Perhaps it was Pei Yansong’s words that made him clear-headed, or perhaps it was He Chuzhou’s arrival, which made him feel like he wasn’t fighting alone. Maybe it was both.

Today, he neither wanted to or needed to humble himself to please the person in front of him.

“As I said before, your responsibilities are not mine. I dislike Pei Zhen. I dislike him so much that I don’t even want to see him, much less be responsible for him for the rest of my life like you want me to.”

“Since Pei Group is not solely mine, we can now clarify which parts should be given to Pei Zhen. I have neither the time nor the inclination to deal with him, and I don’t have the patience to let him waste my time.”

Jiang Ting had never seen Pei Xi like this before. It was as if the chains that had bound him for so long had been cut, and all the sharp thorns on his body were bristling up at them.

The moment she snapped out of her daze, she panicked and tried to pull Pei Zhen away.

But Pei Zhen seemed to have taken root there, staring in Pei Xi’s direction and refusing to leave.

Jiang Ting could only hastily cover his ears, fearing that Pei Xi’s words would cause his illness to relapse.

Pei Xi disregarded Pei Zhen. Facing Pei Yansong’s furious gaze, he said word by word: “Don’t talk about cultivating me as if it was something great, and don’t be so quick to take credit. We know very well that I was just an investment to be exploited.”

“From childhood to adulthood, you never taught me anything other than obedience. I am what I am today because of all the hardships I endured. It has nothing to do with you.”

“The fact that I’m better than Pei Zhen doesn’t mean he’s justified in dragging me down, and in the end, you’re just my unqualified biological father. You no longer have the right to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do.”

“If nothing unexpected happens, I won’t be coming here again. There’s no need to maintain my room anymore, and you can throw away my things immediately.”

“And as for Pei Group, since I hold this position, I will take responsibility and fulfill my obligations to you. As for anything else, it has nothing to do with me.”

An evening drizzle had started. Pei Xi ignored Pei Yansong’s angry shouting as he left the villa. As he set foot on the wet steps outside the door, he was momentarily dazed.

The same kind of rainy day. The same departure with no return date. It was all so familiar.

The difference was that this time, he wasn’t the one being abandoned, nor was he alone.

Jiang Ting’s scream was particularly piercing in the rainy night, accompanied by the sound of quick, disordered footsteps. Looking across the canopy of the umbrella, he saw Pei Zhen not far away.

There was no desire to smash a porcelain vase at him, nor was there any cursing or gnashing of teeth. Pei Zhen looked at him gloomily and stubbornly in the rain, his eyes dark. He looked like a mute who desperately wanted to speak.

There was no fluctuation in Pei Xi’s indifferent eyes, and he said nothing.

Jiang Ting chased after Pei Zhen and tried to pull him back, but he shook her hand off at the first touch and even walked a few steps forward through the rain.

Until he was stopped by a few fingers against his shoulder.

He Chuzhou lowered his cold eyes. His lips rose lazily as he said “Don’t get any closer to him,” and gave him a light push. Then he placed an arm around Pei Xi’s shoulders and turned away.

Pei Zhen stared blankly, and his breathing grew rapid as he watched the two figures gradually move away and vanish completely into the rainy night.

*

*

“Do you know what he told me?”

The lights were on inside the car, the heater dispelling the damp and cold they had brought into the vehicle with them.

Pei Xi sat in the passenger seat, watching the wipers diligently scrape the rain off the windshield.

“He said that because Pei Zhen isn’t bright enough, he needs someone to take care of him at all times. That’s why he was so strict with me. He wanted me to shoulder all the responsibility so that Pei Zhen could be shielded from the wind and rain.”

“No wonder he scolded me each time I wasn’t perfect as a child, but Pei Zhen was praised for accomplishing the bare minimum.”

“I endured a suffocating life, but Pei Zhen didn’t. Because Pei Zhen was fragile and could only be protected, I deserved to suffer that pain in order to pave the way for him and protect him.”

It was so ridiculous.

The corners of his mouth curled uncontrollably as he spoke: “Before, I actually thought he was tough on me and handed over Pei Group to me because in his eyes, Pei Zhen and I were different in the end.”

Facts had proven that they were different.

He just hadn’t expected to be this different.

It turned out that in Pei Yansong’s eyes, he was not just the symbol of a failed marriage, but also a commodity to be used for his family’s happiness, a stepping stone so that Pei Zhen could enjoy everything without any effort.

“Maybe I’ve misunderstood myself.”

“Pei Zhen blames me for the suffering Jiang Ting inflicted on him. I’m just like him, pointing the finger at him and selectively ignoring who caused this awful situation in the first place.”

“Maybe Pei Zhen isn’t the only one I hate in that home.”

Was he hurt?

Actually, not to a great extent. He felt more disappointed and sad, like he couldn’t face himself now that he wasn’t humble or hopeful in the face of adversity.

After Pei Yansong had worn out his last shred of affection, he seemed to have escaped his shackles and found a sense of relief.

It was just that for some reason, it seemed as if part of his body had been hollowed out. Like there had been an unexpected snowfall, covering everything in white and leaving him at a loss for what to do or where to go.

The rain didn’t get heavier, but everything outside the car instantly got more blurry.

Pei Xi’s mind was trapped in heavy snow. When he realized something belatedly and closed his eyes in embarrassment to avoid it, the lights inside the car were suddenly turned off.

The compartment was plunged into darkness, perfectly concealing everything he wanted to hide at this moment.

“It’s okay. You hate them, so just don’t go back.”

In the dim light, He Chuzhou continued to speak in that casual tone, as if none of this was a big deal: “I don’t need a meal from them. It’s not like I can’t afford it.”

He took a pillow from the backseat and stuffed it into Pei Xi’s hands, offering him silent comfort.

“Mom actually told me to come back for dinner tonight. How about you come with me?”

*

*

He Aiyue had been waiting at the door since she heard the news.

Hearing a noise outside, she opened the door at once and looked at Pei Xi with shining eyes. She rushed over and hugged him: “Pei-ge, Pei-ge, I haven’t seen you in so long!”

“What do you mean so long? We just had dinner a few days ago.” He Chuzhou ruthlessly pulled her away from Pei Xi. “Have you told Mom?”

He Aiyue made an “everything is OK” gesture: “I’ve handled it, don’t worry, Pei-ge. Mrs. Chu only told our uncles and the others that my brother brought a friend back for dinner tonight, she didn’t tell them you’re in a relationship. There’s no need to worry!”

Pei Xi hadn’t thought of all this when he agreed to come with He Chuzhou, but He Chuzhou had thought of it all for him.

Before entering the door, He Chuzhou secretly squeezed Pei Xi’s hand one last time and whispered reassurance to him: “Don’t be afraid, it’s not a family gathering. My uncles and their friends just caught a big fish in the pond today and came to celebrate with my dad.”

Although Pei Xi didn’t understand what there was to celebrate about catching a fish, he still nodded agreeably.

Sure enough, the topic of discussion in the living room revolved around a fish. He Chuzhou greeted them, made brief introductions, and then walked past them with his arm around Pei Xi’s shoulders.

Father He and his brother looked very similar, so it was a little difficult to tell them apart at first sight, but Pei Xi still recognized him right away.

The reason was simple. Among these few people, only one person put his hands behind him when Pei Xi walked by and secretly greeted him again. It took him aback, and he couldn’t stop the slight curve of his lips.

Mrs. Chu soon came out of the kitchen.

She naturally didn’t cook the food herself, and was just arranging the dishes inside. When she heard Pei Xi had arrived, she came out with a face full of joy to welcome him.

“Xinxin is here. Tsk, why are your hands so cold? It’s cold outside, isn’t it? Auntie will bring a hot towel to warm you up in a minute.”

“You must be hungry after working so hard. Dinner will be ready soon. I heard from Chuzhou that you like sweet and sour fish, so Auntie specifically had someone prepare it for you using the grass carp your uncle caught fresh. You can try some in a while.”

With Chu Yuelan holding both of his hands, Pei Xi lowered his eyes and blinked, feeling his hypothermic body start to warm up at last.

On the other side of the partition in the small living room, there was He Aiyue, who had come out with snacks. There was also a young female student squatting in front of the coffee table and struggling to do her homework, and Yun Ji to the side, who was tutoring her so hard that veins were bulging out on his forehead.

“I teach you to grow apples, and you insist on asking me why I don’t grow pears. I teach you how to pick apples, and you insist on asking me why I don’t just eat them from the tree! The main feature is rebellion, right?!”

“Okay, okay, I know you don’t know how to do it either. Speak a little more quietly, or we’ll go deaf.”

“Can’t do it? I’m an Ivy League student, but I can’t do a primary school question like you? Put the chips down, how can you eat without finishing your homework!”

“What question requires me not to be eating potato chips……”

The young girl raised her head as she complained, and when she saw Pei Xi, her mouth opened in a surprised O.

“What, did you see a ghost?” Yun Ji looked up when she did, and revealed the same expression as her: “ O! ”

He Chuzhou put a hand on Pei Xi’s shoulder and introduced him: “This is my cousin He Xiaohui and my cousin Yun Ji, who is also my assistant. You should have met before.”

Pei Xi was stunned: “Your assistant is your cousin?”

He Chuzhou: “Ah, it’s a good idea to keep the wealth in the family. It just so happened that he had the right major and is capable.”

Pei Xi: “……”

……He had actually once regarded this cousin who had good professional skills as his imaginary enemy.

“Pei-ge, Pei-ge, come sit down, ah.”

He Aiyue patted the empty seat beside her happily and said: “The top eight seats are reserved for entertaining distinguished guests.”

He Xiaohui stared at Pei Xi, then turned to Yun Ji and said: “Finally, there’s someone in this family who suits my tastes.”

After speaking, she was smacked on the head.

He Aiyue: “Don’t talk nonsense, do your homework seriously. Children should behave like children, not talk like adults.”

Pei Xi was taken to sit on the sofa by He Chuzhou.

Lights were on all around, and there was a lot of chatter everywhere.

This place seemed very similar to the place he’d just left, and yet very different.

He Xiaohui covered her head, feeling wronged, but Yun Ji was too busy to care about her. He quickly squeezed next to He Aiyue and whispered in shock: “This is the friend you said your brother was bringing back for dinner?”

He Aiyue: “Ah.”

Yun Ji: “The ordinary friend?”

He Aiyue: “Ah.”

“What the fuck,” Yun Ji muttered softly. “Amazing, ah, committing high crimes and misdemeanors. Your brother is so brave…..”

He Aiyue: “Why do you say that? Why are you so surprised? You’re my brother’s assistant, shouldn’t you know Pei-ge? Did you not know they’re friends?”

“Right, they’re indeed friends, haha, but…..”

Yun Ji was unable to speak the rest of his words, because he saw another shocking scene—

His cousin was actually using a hot towel to wipe Pei Xi’s hands in front of Mrs. Chu?

Was he really not afraid of being discovered?

Auntie was usually so smart, why wasn’t she noticing it right in front of her face today?

No way, He Aiyue wasn’t exactly a person of great knowledge, but she didn’t notice anything wrong when it was dancing right in front of her?

“What is this?”

As a well-qualified sister, He Aiyue of course had to pretend to be blind: “It’s just good friends holding hands. Are you from the Qing Dynasty? Why are you making such a big deal out of it?”

Yun Ji: “……”

OK, FINE.

During dinner, Yun Ji deliberately took the seat directly to the right of He Chuzhou and said in a low voice: “Cousin, you asked me to keep this a secret for you, but you brought him right here. Aren’t you afraid of being exposed?”

He Chuzhou picked up a piece of pork ribs for Pei Xi and said: “As long as you keep your mouth shut, no one will notice.”

Yun Ji looked at Pei Xi’s bowl, which was practically overflowing with food, then looked under the table where his cousin was holding Pei Xi’s hand as if he feared someone would snatch him away. The corners of his mouth twitched.

Why did it feel like he was the only one at the table who had eyes?

He Chuzhou: “You still have work to do, so leave after you eat.”

Yun Ji rolled his eyes and took out his phone: “Don’t worry, let me add your boyfriend on WeChat.”

He Chuzhou: “ ? ”

“It’ll come in handy sooner or later.”

Yun Ji grinned and opened the QR code, passed it over He Chuzhou to Pei Xi, who added it, and then wiped his mouth and stood up: “I have work to do, so I’ll leave first. Uncles, Auntie, cousins, eat and drink well. Bye-bye.”

Chu Yuelan told him to drive carefully on the road, then served Pei Xi a bowl of soup: “Come, Xinxin, when the weather is cold, just drink some soup to warm yourself up.”

As she spoke, she moved all of the dishes that were a little far from Pei Xi closer to him.

While He Aiyue was telling jokes to Pei Xi to entertain him, He Chuzhou went to the balcony alone.

Pei Yansong’s voice on the other end of the line was still full of anger, cold and harsh.

He Chuzhou paid no attention to it. He gazed at the night-shrouded garden and asked frankly: “Mr. Pei wants me to help with his younger son’s schooling?”

“It’s not impossible. As long as you don’t bother Pei Xi during this period, I can consider it.”

“A calm attitude is required.”

“No, I’m talking about you, not Pei Xi.”

. . . . . .

Having deceived Pei Yansong, he smiled sarcastically and put away his phone, ready to go back. Unexpectedly, when he turned around, he saw Pei Xi standing not far behind him.

He paused, then smiled and pretended nothing had happened: “Why did you come? Are you full?”

Pei Xi gave a hum. It seemed like he hadn’t had time to hear anything.

He Chuzhou inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. He looked in the direction of the dining room and guessed: “I suppose we’ll have to stick around for a while before we leave. Why don’t you just go back to my room and rest?”

A few minutes later, He Chuzhou returned to the dining table alone.

He Aiyue asked: “Where’s my Pei-ge?”

He Chuzhou: “He’s tired, he went to rest.”

He Xiaohui let out a sigh before He Aiyue could say anything: “I still haven’t taken a photo with that handsome guy yet.”

“You’re only this old and you’re already talking about handsome guys all the time. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of opportunities in the future.”

Chu Yuelan pinched He Xiaohui chubby face and glanced at He Chuzhou: “Xinxin seems to be in a low mood tonight. Have you upset him again?”

He Chuzhou: “No, it’s just because of some trivial matters at home.”

Chu Yuelan understood: “He had an argument with his family?”

He Chuzhou: “Pretty much.”

Chu Yuelan: “No wonder. Then hurry up and eat. Eat and then go back with Xinxin, don’t leave him alone.”

Just then, his second uncle came over with a glass of wine and peered over cheerfully. He Chuzhou quickly finished the cup in front of him: “Got it.”

He Chuzhou’s uncles were all very nice people, but they had one common shortcoming: they were heavy drinkers, and always liked to drag the younger ones along to keep them company.

He Chuzhou had suffered greatly due to this since childhood. But since he had a good brain, his alcohol tolerance didn’t increase, but his Tai Chi skills were practiced to perfection – he was able to go through ten rounds while keeping the same glass of wine.

But today was an exception.

He filled a cup and unhesitatingly toasted everybody, making the elders stand in amazement. The group of old men felt too embarrassed to take turns getting the kid drunk, so they quickly gave in and let him off.

He Chuzhou pressed his forehead for a moment, then stood up and prepared to go upstairs.

He Aiyue knew from his appearance that he was half drunk, and after receiving a look from Mrs. Chu, she put down her chopsticks and ran after him to help.

Of course, she didn’t forget to complain: “No way, no way, Pei-ge won’t have to take care of a drunkard like you when he’s come to our house for the first time, right? I should just throw you on the ground and leave you there all night.”

After she finished speaking, she was swatted on the head.

He Chuzhou derided her: “Is that something to say to your brother? Besides, who says I’m drunk?”

“The dead duck still refuses to admit it……”

Seeing that her brother was about to take action again, He Aiyue quickly knocked on the door and pushed He Chuzhou inside, saying: “Pei-ge, my brother is drunk. If he acts crazy, don’t bother with him, just toss him into the bathroom and lock the door.”

He Chuzhou hissed: “Who’s drunk and crazy?”

He Aiyue was quick to hide behind Pei Xi, making a face at He Chuzhou as she whispered to him: “Actually, he drank so much just to come and keep you company. You can’t just lock him in the bathroom like this, throw him a blanket or something.”

“And let me share a secret with you. Boss He is drunk and won’t remember anything, so you can bully him as much as you want tonight and take revenge for your grievances. Anyway, he’ll forget everything by tomorrow morning.”

Having said this, she stuck out her tongue at He Chuzhou and ran away fast.

Pei Xi closed the door and turned toward He Chuzhou.

The latter wore a helpless look: “That stinky girl was talking nonsense. Ignore her.”

He looked normal, and his eyes were clear. Pei Xi didn’t think he seemed drunk, so he just hummed and said nothing.

While he was looking at He Chuzhou, He Chuzhou was also looking back at him. Seeing that he had changed into his pajamas, he knew that he had taken a shower, and his face wasn’t as pale as it was before.

“Are you feeling better now?” he asked Pei Xi.

Pei Xi nodded. He explained after a couple of seconds: “Don’t worry about me, I’m not…..actually as sad as you think.”

He Chuzhou agreed verbally, but didn’t believe it at all in his heart.

Pei Xi’s trembling voice when he called him was still fresh in his memory. He’d thought Pei Zhen had gone crazy again and attacked him.

When he hurried over to see, he found that no violence had been committed, but the situation seemed worse than if there had been violence.

Pei Xi had come down the stairs with a pale face and dull, lifeless eyes. His entire person seemed as if it would crumble under the slightest force.

If this wasn’t sad enough, then what qualified as sad?

He didn’t speak this thought out loud.

He wouldn’t dig deeper into something that Pei Xi was unwilling to let others see.

Everyone had secrets they wanted to hide. Just like Pei Xi hid his tears so that he wouldn’t see them, He Chuzhou pretended to know nothing.

“Go and take a shower first.” Pei Xi changed the subject. “It’s late.”

He Chuzhou took his clothes into the bathroom. There was lingering heat inside from Pei Xi’s shower, mixed with the faint scent of shower gel. It made his head feel hot.

He had indeed drunk a little too much tonight, and as the aftereffects kicked in, his movements became slower and slower. It took him a long time just to take off his clothes and adjust the water temperature.

He found it increasingly difficult to stand, so he simply stepped into the bathtub, sat down, and turned on the faucet.

Of course, it could be because of his absent-mindedness. He was still thinking about how to make Pei Xi happy.

Pei Xi finished drinking the cup of warm milk Mrs. Chu had brought him, and waited until the other cup had gone cold, but the person in the bathroom still hadn’t come out.

He hesitated briefly, then walked over and knocked on the door: “He Chuzhou?”

There was no response from inside.

He frowned, then simply grasped the door handle and pushed the door open.

The person he was so worried about was lying on his back in the bathtub, eyes closed and eyelashes drooping. He appeared to be asleep.

“……”

Pei Xi was momentarily speechless. He squatted down beside him and checked the water temperature. Thankfully, it wasn’t very cold.

Just as he was considering how to wake him, Pei Xi looked up and saw that this person who hadn’t woken up to his knocks on the door had his eyes open and was staring at him intently.

He Chuzhou didn’t seem to be very clear-headed. His movements were a bit awkward as he propped himself up, and water splashed from his arm onto Pei Xi’s face.

He stared at that droplet of water for a long moment, then reached out and wiped it away, saying with a frown: “Didn’t you say you weren’t sad? Why are you crying?”

Pei Xi: “……”

He now believed what He Aiyue had said. He Chuzhou really was drunk, so drunk that he was caught unawares.

“I’m not crying.”

He started to earnestly explain, but He Chuzhou didn’t give him time.

“It’s okay, Xinxin,” He Chuzhou said to him. “It’s very normal to be sad and cry. It’s not shameful. Nobody will laugh at you.”

“It’s okay to cry for a while, but not for too long. You can be sad for yourself, but if it’s for those few pieces of trash, hmph, they’re not worth it.”

He wouldn’t use the name Xinxin if he was sober.

Pei Xi knew he had misspoken due to his inebriation, so he didn’t correct him. He just listened quietly as he said what he should be saying to Pei-calico.

“I just lied to him and said I would help Pei Zhen with the admissions issue. He believed it, and won’t bother you at least for the time being.”

“He wants you to raise Pei Zhen, ah. You agree to it, then throw Pei Zhen to me. I’ll definitely help take good care of him. If he doesn’t spout smoke out of all seven orifices later on, I’ll have been remiss.”

“He only has two sons, you and Pei Zhen. Pei Zhen isn’t good enough. Pei Group can only be yours. Don’t think about giving it back to him out of spite, that’s something only a fool would do.”

“And don’t be afraid of him. What else can he do now that he’s given everything away? Besides, you still have me. Gege will back you up with the entirety of He Group, and definitely won’t let him benefit from you.”

He Chuzhou leaned his elbows on the edge of the bathtub and held Pei Xi’s face in wet hands. He leaned closer and pressed his forehead against Pei Xi’s, and their breaths intertwined.

“There isn’t just Pei Yansong. He doesn’t love you, but I love you. I’ll give you everything he is unwilling to give you.”

“A home, family, friendship, care, companionship, favoritism…..whatever you need, whatever I have, I’ll give it to you.”

“Don’t cry, Baby. I promise, I’ll be with you forever and ever.”

Pei Xi tried to say that he wasn’t crying, but when he opened his mouth and tasted the salt seeping into the corners, he realized he was in tears.

He could admit that he was particularly emotional this evening, but he knew very well that these tears weren’t because of Pei Yansong, and certainly weren’t because of Pei Zhen, nor were they because of a family that was destined not to belong to him. 

Sure enough, he couldn’t get used to this.

When there was no one there to comfort him, he was strong enough to swallow any hardship. But once someone comforted him, he was more fragile and aggrieved than lotus root fibers.

Hsi emotions were like magma erupting from a volcano, earth-shattering and scorching.

So as He Chuzhou was wracking his brains for a way to make him stop crying, Pei Xi opened his arms and hugged him tightly. He gave him a forceful, awkward kiss, going deeper despite his fumbling. They exchanged breaths among the wetness and the faint smell of alcohol.

He Chuzhou was utterly stunned. He stared blankly at Pei Xi, not even noticing the bleeding wound at the corner of his mouth, and even forgot how to turn his eyes away.

“Chuzhou, I’m not sad. I’m really not sad.”

Pei Xi withdrew slightly. His breathing shook, but he was reluctant to part from him. Nearly every word he spoke caused friction between their lips that made He Chuzhou breathe heavier.

“Nothing in that house belongs to me anymore. It’s not that I’ve lost anything, but that it’s worthless to me. I just couldn’t accept the reality of being completely exposed for a while.”

“Maybe in the past, I would have been sad and had a breakdown, but not now. I have someone I really like and things I want more, so what I lost is no longer important to me.”

He used to think that the amnesiac Pei Xi wasn’t the real Pei Xi, but now he recognized him as his truest self, the one he was most unwilling to face.

Lonely, pessimistic, inferior, lacking love, longing for everything he could never obtain, worried about personal gains and losses, and cautious.

That was Pei-calico, and also the perfect Pei Xi in everyone’s eyes.

But now, that Pei Xi had been completely cured by the man in front of him.

It was he who had given him everything he wanted, and fulfilled everything he had never enjoyed before.

It was he who showed him inexhaustible patience and taught him to accept his imperfect self, who told him repeatedly that he was excellent and that there was no need to humble himself to get what he wanted.

“Chuzhou, I’ve always wanted to be loved, but after years of trials and tribulations, it’s become difficult for me to fall in love.”

“So that’s why I’m slow to notice some things and keep doubting myself in the process of verifying them, unwilling to give in and confirm my feelings.”

“But now that I’ve confirmed them, no matter whether you said these things to coax or comfort me, I’m taking them seriously.”

“He Chuzhou, you said it yourself – you will love me and stay with me forever.”

“I’ll remember your promise. Don’t go back on your word.”

---

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Chapter 51 << Table of Contents >> Chapter 53