Ch 13 – Seeds of Violence
Compared to the inexplicably brainwashed Tau, Yu Xi found the scheming Kersz a little more endearing.
He had originally planned to restrict Kersz’s actions, but now, he changed his mind and praised him: “You really are very useful.”
“It’s an honor to be of use to you.” Kersz seemed very touched.
“If you get the chance later on, will you kill me?” Yu Xi asked.
“How could I kill you?” Kersz felt that Yu Xi was overestimating his abilities.
“I mean, if you could shut me down, would you do it?” Yu Xi persisted.
“No,” Kersz replied very quickly.
“You’re just humoring me.” Yu Xi sighed.
“I really won’t. There’s no conflict between us.” Kersz didn’t consider himself to be a serial killer.
“Then what conflict do you have with the Supreme Governor?” Yu Xi asked.
“Socially or on a personal level?” Kersz took a bite of the sweet potato in his hand, feeling that he really needed to control his diet lately.
Yu Xi pondered this, then decided: “On a personal level.”
“On a personal level…..over one hundred of my relatives have died directly or indirectly at his hands,” said Kersz.
Yu Xi’s eyes widened in shock: “You actually waited so long before taking revenge?!”
“Haven’t I been making preparations?” Kersz didn’t look upset at all. He was in a good mood, which mostly stemmed from the roasted sweet potato in his hand.
Roasted sweet potatoes were truly delicious.
Yu Xi sensed that something was off: “How many relatives do you have left?”
“I’d guess more than two hundred million,” said Kersz.
Kersz started to walk off, but Yu Xi grabbed his arm.
“Over two hundred million?!” Yu Xi was astonished. “They’re all your relatives?!”
“Of course, ah. We share the same ancestors.” Kersz nodded solemnly. “My ancestors were the leaders of the interplanetary migration from my home planet. Our family owned the most planets back then.”
“How many years ago did those ancestors live?”
“Probably less than ten thousand years ago.” Kersz’s knowledge of history was mediocre.
Yu Xi went silent.
Did that even count as being relatives? So much time had passed; at most, they just shared the same surname.
“Okay, it’s at least a problem that people with the same surname as you were killed for no reason.” Yu Xi reached up and pressed his temples. “It proves that he has indeed hurt people.”
Kersz nodded.
Yu Xi then said: “But you can’t change anything.”
Kersz paused.
“You’re a very capable lone wolf. You’ve killed many important figures, and through your extreme actions, you’ve allowed everyone to witness some of the truth, and even avenged some people.” Yu Xi spread his hands. “But you really can’t solve the most fundamental problem.”
“You can’t change the world. Even if you kill the Supreme Governor, nothing will change systemically.” Yu Xi was very familiar with such a mindset. There had been many people like Kersz among the ancient humans.
Kersz instantly fell silent.
“Generally speaking, changing human society as a whole requires systemic change and new ideas, not individual heroism.” Yu Xi felt that Kersz was only venting his anger.
He heard Kersz’s heartbeat quicken, beating faster and with more intensity.
He thought that Kersz would suppress his anger like before and simply change the subject with a grin.
But this time, he didn’t. This time, Kersz asked him with a smile: “Why don’t you just create a new machine to accompany you instead of coveting humans?”
“Is it because you haven’t really grown up yet? You’re ‘afraid of the dark’ out in this world, so you want a mommy and daddy to hug you?” Kersz shrugged his shoulders.
Yu Xi gasped in shock: “Are you attacking me?!”
“Oh, so you noticed this time, ah.” Kersz smiled even brighter, but the pounding of his heart became even more obvious.
“Of course. I’m not stupid.” A strange sensation suddenly came over Yu Xi. His chest was hot, and it felt as if something was rushing to his head. “Do you know? It’s precisely because of your volatile temper that you’re now isolated and helpless, without even one decent friend.”
Kersz: “And you have friends? You wouldn’t even get involved in those human disputes.”
Yu Xi: “But you did. You only know how to kill alone, thinking you’re a righteous man. But in fact, everyone just thinks you’re an immature scoundrel.”
Kersz: “You’re even more immature. At least I wouldn’t demand that another human give me a hug.”
Yu Xi: “I don’t kill my own kind.”
Kersz: “There’s no such thing as your own kind.”
Yu Xi: “You – you have others like you, but no friends among them.”
Kersz and Yu Xi stared at each other in silence. Then, they charged forward and began to fight.
Kersz shouted: “This isn’t fair!”
“I’m not using any extra strength!” Yu Xi defended himself.
“But I can’t hurt you!” Kersz suddenly remembered Yu Xi saying that he could feel that primal sort of physical pleasure.
Since he could react to touch, did that mean he could feel pain?
Yu Xi did experience some mild pain, though it wasn’t as intense as what humans felt. However, having never been human, mild pain was already quite uncomfortable for him.
Feeling this pain, Yu Xi hit Kersz even more fiercely. But Kersz wasn’t just going to stand there and allow Yu Xi to beat him at will.
Yet Yu Xi was ultimately an android, and despite feeling some pain, he was fundamentally immune to injury. Kersz was different – he was already covered in wounds, but his mouth still wouldn’t let him off the hook.
“I’m going to gag your mouth!” Yu Xi said viciously.
“Then gag me! You can mute me, do whatever you want to me! Why are you still talking? Do you think I can stop you?!” Kersz shouted in a rage.
“You’re complaining about me again! I haven’t even done anything yet!” Yu Xi stomped his foot.
“What did I complain about? Didn’t I just say you can do what you want?”
“I only said I was going to gag you, and you escalated it to me saying that I was going to mute you!” Yu Xi’s voice rose even louder.
“I didn’t escalate anything!” Kersz’s voice rose as well. “I’m just saying that you’re capable of doing it, and it’s true, you can!”
Yu Xi: “You’re ridiculously childish!”
“And you’re not?!” Kersz retorted.
But after this pointless exchange of accusations, they were both speechless.
Yu Xi was somewhat dejected after shouting at this childish human. He felt that Kersz had done something very impolite.
Kersz had very rudely pointed out some feelings in his heart that were difficult to articulate.
Did he seem like a clueless child?
Perhaps he did. But Kersz shouldn’t say that out loud, because Yu Xi never intended to discuss his lack of integration into human society. He just wanted to grasp a few particular yet general parts of it.
He wanted to catch specific people and regain that vague sense of security.
He just wanted to have a beautiful dream before he shut down completely. He didn’t want to discuss whether or not his actions were meaningful, because he knew that his waiting could not withstand the scrutiny of “reason.”
Thinking of this, Yu Xi looked at Kersz, who was unable to pick himself up off the ground.
Suddenly, he realized that Kersz was the same. This young space pirate was just venting his anger. He probably knew that he couldn’t change anything, but he was suffocating and wanted to catch his breath. He didn’t want to live and die quietly in some corner – he wanted everyone to witness his wrath.
He wanted to show those people the bitter fruit they had sown themselves.
Thinking about it carefully, Yu Xi realized that he was the one who brought the subject up first.
But he didn’t want to apologize, because Kersz had gone too far.
Over and over, Yu Xi turned his head to look at Kersz and then angrily turned it away again.
He really wanted to throw this human out.
But in the end, he didn’t.
Yu Xi felt that his time with this fierce human wouldn’t last long. He wanted humans who were gentle. Gentle enough that from the moment they met, they could walk hand in hand to the end of their journey without criticizing each other like this.
Later, he would find somewhere to release Kerz. Let him do whatever he wanted – Yu Xi didn’t care anymore.
Having figured this out, Yu Xi felt a bit better.
A robotic arm reached out to Kersz. When he looked closely, it seemed to be holding the half of a sweet potato that had flown away during the fight.
Kersz: …..
“You caught this?!” Kersz asked Yu Xi with a crack in his voice.
“I couldn’t let it fall. Otherwise, I’m afraid you would lick it off the floor.” Yu Xi still had no decent words to say.
Kersz took the sweet potato. He didn’t think he would actually lick it off the ground, but he might trick Tau into doing it.
Holding the sweet potato, he struggled into a sitting position.
He stared at it for a while, and suddenly felt that he really was like a child. He’d lost his temper over a few words, then responded with passive-aggressive sarcasm.
But he clearly understood that Yu Xi was a robot, and that he hadn’t been provoking him deliberately.
In the end, Kersz let out a sigh: “I’m sorry.”
Yu Xi: “You don’t need to put on an act anymore. We just had a fight.”
“No, this time I’m not acting.” Kersz said earnestly, “What you said…..makes sense. Maybe it’s just a sensitive topic, and I can’t face it right now.”
Yu Xi was caught off guard.
“I shouldn’t have provoked you…..let me state upfront that I’m not afraid of death.” Kersz cleared his throat. “You did it unintentionally, but I purposely touched a nerve.” He kept tightening and loosening his grip on the sweet potato, which was no longer hot.
He was just uneasy.
Strictly speaking, Yu Xi was very good to Kersz. Without him, Kersz would have died long ago.
Even now, Yu Xi hadn’t killed him out of anger.
Kersz felt like he was bullying this person.
Bullying this robot who had been waiting so long for a suitable human, but who had clearly picked up a substandard product.
When they were fighting, Yu Xi had even caught his sweet potato.
Yu Xi felt that he too was being a bully, because Kersz’s left eye was already swollen, and he was covered in bruises.
“I accept your apology.” Yu Xi crouched down and looked at Kersz at eye level.
“I apologize to you too,” Yu Xi said with a smile. “I brought up the topic first. Normally, I’m able to determine what I should or shouldn’t say, but maybe I’ve just spent too much time away from humans.” Seeing Kersz’s unfortunate state, he suddenly felt that it wasn’t so hard to apologize.
“I know you’re not afraid of death. I knew that the moment I met you.” Yu Xi suddenly felt that Kersz no longer looked so hateful. Perhaps he could keep him by his side for a while longer.
Kersz continued to stare at Yu Xi, feeling a little strange.
He had always been aware that Yu Xi was a very good-looking robot. Having met a great many good-looking people, he had plenty of experience to pull from.
And he was able to objectively conclude that the person in front of him was “good-looking.”
But only now did he seem to realize that Yu Xi was handsome. Those features were already familiar to Kersz, but it was as if he was appreciating their beauty for the first time.
Kersz suddenly asked: “Don’t we look somewhat alike?”
Yu Xi shook his head: “We are nothing alike.”
Kersz nodded, though he still felt that there were similarities.
Of course, from the fact that he realized Yu Xi was handsome one minute, and thought the two looked alike the next, he was probably a narcissist.
But it was different…..
How was it different?
Kersz couldn’t explain it. He felt increasingly unable to hold onto the half-eaten sweet potato. In the end, action seemed to prevail over reasoning, leading him to do something inexplicable.
He offered the half-eaten sweet potato to Yu Xi: “Want a bite?”
Yu Xi: “Huh? Okay.”
Instead of taking it with his hands, Yu Xi simply lowered his head and took a bite. He was able to digest food, but eating wasn’t a necessity for him.
After taking a bite, he said: “I’m a little happy now, but I don’t know why?”
He had been angry just now, but after the fierce human showed him kindness, he felt particularly happy.
This happiness was somewhat dissimilar to any happiness he had felt before. Yu Xi couldn’t find any similar experiences to draw upon.
“This sweet potato tastes exceptionally sweet!” Yu Xi exclaimed with a bit of a rising tone.
“Really?” Kersz asked.
“You’ve already eaten half of it. How could you not know?”
“I….I know.” Kersz felt that he hadn’t tasted the sweet potato at all. At least, not this half of it.
But in the curve of Yu Xi’s lips as he smiled, and the way his eyes squinted in happiness, he felt that he could taste the sweetness again.
How strange, Kersz thought. How can taste be conveyed through such an expression?
How strange.
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Neon Dragonfly Translations 
how strange indeed! ~
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