Ch 38 – Pretending Not to See

Yu Xi noticed that Tau had become more talkative. For instance, at this very moment, he was asking Yu Xi whether he knew where Kersz had run off to.

“He went to talk business with Yara,” said Yu Xi.

“What business does he have to discuss? He’s not a real businessman.” Tau felt that since they had already found Facai, they should head back.

Facai was associating with humans of his own free will, and it was none of their business.

But Kersz steadfastly refused to return to the starship, insisting on continuing to speak with Yara.

Kersz’s identity was completely fabricated, and he had nowhere to process the resources they were talking about. What was there left to discuss?

“Maybe he wants to start a side hustle,” Yu Xi said.

Tau shook his head: “No. He wants to kill someone.”

“Your father? That’s actually quite possible.” Yu Xi’s expression turned grave. “He did threaten him.”

“But it’s possible that it’s not my father.” Tau sensed that Kersz didn’t actually care much about his father’s life. It was true that his father had planted him by Kersz’s side, but his father hadn’t been the one to harm Kersz’s parents, nor had he ever had any direct conflict with the man.

“You need to keep an eye on Kersz,” Tau warned.

“Why? Kersz is very good, ah.” Yu Xi believed that friends should trust each other wholeheartedly.

“Because Kersz’s methods are very extreme,” said Tau. “He’s a space pirate, yet he maintains almost no ties with other pirate groups. And while he has a few old acquaintances among them, he has absolutely no intention of forming a crew with them.”

“He’s destined to die young, and he’ll take as many people down with him as he can.” Tau suspected that Kersz was plotting something very dangerous.

Yu Xi didn’t share this belief: “I don’t think Kersz would put us in danger now.”

“I don’t know anything for sure, but I don’t trust him.” Tau felt that Yu Xi placed a great wealth of trust in Kersz, and this wasn’t a good thing.

“Do you know why Kersz doesn’t associate with other space pirates?” Yu Xi asked him.

He recalled that Tau used to be friends with Kersz.

“He looks down on them,” said Tau. “Or perhaps he just naturally distrusts any collective group. To be fair, the way certain space pirates operate is really extreme.”

Yu Xi: “After all, the term ‘space pirate’ does contain the character for theft.”

For a long time, such “thieves” had loomed large within the societies of the ancient humans. It was difficult to determine if they were good or bad, because while some of those who were labeled “thieves” were merely a bunch of ruthless, profit-seeking scoundrels, others were able to completely revitalize society as a whole.

“You have to guard against Kersz,” Tau warned Yu Xi. “On the down-low.”

Yu Xi frowned, looking somewhat conflicted.

“Kersz is dangerous. He’s not a docile human,” Tau continued.

“I’m going to ask him directly.” Yu Xi still didn’t want to hide anything from Kersz.

Tau: “…..Don’t.” 

“But if he found out that I was secretly guarding against him, wouldn’t he become estranged from me?” Once they became estranged, Yu Xi would no longer be able to touch the human.

“He hides something from you, and you guard against him – I think that’s perfectly fair.” Tau didn’t believe that Kersz would pull away from Yu Xi over such a trivial matter.

Yu Xi thought for a while, then came to a ridiculous conclusion: “Then if I’m not guarding against him, but he’s still hiding something from me…..doesn’t that mean he’s crossing a line?”

Ah? Could it be looked at like that?

Tau didn’t quite get it, but after thinking it over carefully, he felt that Yu Xi’s words made sense: “He really is crossing a line.”

The cyan glow in Yu Xi’s eyes dimmed slightly: “Is he keeping things from me because I’m not worthy of his trust?”

“I thought I was the only one he didn’t trust,” said Tau. “I never expected him not to trust you either.”

“But you’re a fake friend,” said Yu Xi.

Tau: “You’re not wrong.”

“And I’m a real one.”

Tau: ……

Tau found the term ‘real friend’ rather dubious. He still suspected that these two were hooking up.

Yu Xi came to a realization that deeply saddened him: “He won’t tell me, because he doesn’t trust me, his real friend! I’m his friend!”

“I get it now. It must be because I’m a robot that he’s shutting me out.” Yu Xi started to make connections. “The ancient humans always liked to shut me out, telling me not to worry so much. Ultimately, I had no way to access their thoughts, nor could I share their true experiences or comprehend their deaths.”

“Now Kersz is going to shut me out too, just because I’m a robot and not a human.” Yu Xi felt a numbness spread throughout every part of his body. He was so sad. So very sad.

“Not necessarily.” Tau felt that something wasn’t right about Yu Xi’s current state, and gave him a pat on the back.

He began to wonder if he shouldn’t have brought this topic up in the first place.

Tau pondered whether or not to use his great talent with platitudes to comfort Yu Xi, but didn’t think he would fall for that sort of thing.

Maybe he could try to distract him?

Tau started with bringing up Yu Xi’s past. His original intention was to ask him how much of his past with Facai he could recall, but the memories that surfaced in Yu Xi’s mind were evidently far more distant, and what he remembered was the most deeply-etched memory of separation and loss he had ever known.

The previous human he had lived with had just passed away. Yu Xi gazed helplessly at the weeping humans around him and asked his new master: “What happened to him? Is he not going to wake up?”

With tears welling in his eyes, that human had gazed at Yu Xi with a profoundly complex expression.

The human was crying, yet he also seemed to be smiling. Smiling at Yu Xi’s ignorance.

He said: “You’re really just a robot, aren’t you?”

“You don’t need to understand. You just need to know that humans are different from you. We’re not robots who will always have a tomorrow.” The human said, “Our tomorrows always run out at some point.”

Yu Xi had already witnessed human death many times over, but this time, his feelings about it were distinctly different. There was a strange numbness in his heart, as if something was drifting away from him and he was helpless to stop it.

He could only attempt to seek answers from the descendent left behind by that human.

Yet that human believed that he didn’t understand the event that was unfolding. That he didn’t understand the weight of such a parting.

Yu Xi received no answers. He had been inexplicably shut out.

At the thought of this, Yu Xi withdrew into himself.

He returned to his room, locked the door, and buried himself under the covers.

When Kersz returned, he once again found Tau pacing back and forth in front of Yu Xi’s door.

“What’s up with you? Do you need something from Yu Xi again?” Kersz asked in confusion.

Tau came to a halt, and upon spotting Kersz, he exclaimed in relief: “You came back just in time!”

“What’s going on?” Kersz asked.

“Yu Xi seems to be angry,” said Tau.

“What have you done now?” Kersz was appalled. “Did you ignore Yu Xi again when he tried to comfort you?”

“I warned Yu Xi to be on guard against you because you aren’t a peaceful human.” Tau grabbed Kersz’s wrist.

Kersz: …..

Kersz: “Should you really be repeating that right to my face?”

“I think I’m right. You’re definitely up to no good right now,” said Tau.

Kersz raised an eyebrow.

He believed that Yu Xi had a very good understanding of his character. Yu Xi was well aware that he had threatened the Supreme Governor, and since he’d never brought the matter up with him, Kersz had assumed that Yu Xi tacitly condoned certain actions of his.

“Then he got angry,” Tau said.

“Because you sowed discord between us?” Kersz asked.

“No, he’s angry at you.” Tau’s brow furrowed. “Why do you always steer the conversation back to me? I’m human too, and he doesn’t dislike me that much.”

Kersz: “…..You’re saying that Yu Xi is mad at me？”

Tau: “He feels that he let his guard down around you, but you’re still keeping something from him.”

“He must have known all along that I’ve been keeping something from him, so why did he suddenly get angry now?!” Kersz was flabbergasted.

How had Yu Xi skipped right past the suspicion, inner turmoil, and defensiveness and transitioned directly into anger?

Tau spread his hands: “In any case, it’s your problem. I haven’t hidden anything from him. I was kidnapped and brought here, and I’ve been completely honest the entire time.”

Kersz looked at Tau.

Tau continued: “I also don’t want to kill anyone. I’ve just been living my life alongside Xiao Konglong. I haven’t even sold my body to win his favor, so it’s not like he’d be angry at me.”

“That’s enough out of you.” Kersz gritted his teeth.

“I hope that next time, you won’t inexplicably suspect me. I’m very well-behaved.” Tau felt that he was honest to a fault.

Kersz didn’t argue with him further.

“Speaking of which, are you the one who taught him that groping inside someone’s mouth is a form of interaction between close friends?” Tau was still curious. “Real friends wouldn’t do something like that.”

“What does that have to do with you?!” Kersz knocked on the door, but there was no response from inside.

“I’m just really curious about your motives. What exactly do you hope to gain by doing all of this?” Tau felt certain that Kersz had a bigger plan in the works. “He doesn’t know what kind of interactions are normal between friends. But surely you do, right?”

“That’s enough!” Kersz was getting a bit annoyed.

“If you keep going like this – mmph!” Before Tau could finish speaking, Kersz slapped a hand over his mouth and pressed a gun to his temple.

Tau composed himself very quickly.

Kersz shouted: “I’m going to blow your brains out!”

Tau stared back at him coldly.

A moment later, the door opened.

“Don’t do something so extreme,” Yu Xi leaned out to warn Kersz.

“Then can we talk?” Kersz asked.

Tau pried away the hand Kersz was holding over his mouth: “I knew it.”

Kersz mouthed a fierce ‘shut up’ at Tau.

Then he followed Yu Xi into the room.

Xiao Konglong ran up to Tau and tugged the leg of this trousers with his front claws.

Tau picked him up.

Kersz was just throwing a fit out of embarrassment. He and Yu Xi were definitely hooking up.

This space pirate was just too wicked, and far too good at deceiving others.

“I mean, it’s possible.” Facai’s projection suddenly materialized beside Tau. “Isn’t it possible that his thoughts toward Yu Xi are pure?”

Tau stared at Facai, giving no reaction whatsoever.

Having expected a response, Facai asked: “Hey, did you hear me?”

Holding Xiao Konglong in his arms, Tau returned to his room.

Why had Facai suddenly shown up? And why was he acting like they were on good terms?

Tau stroked Xiao Konglong.

Showing up out of nowhere to pass judgment on other people’s relationships….was he just some random extra from a third-rate drama?

Had he existed for so long that he had lost his mind?

Tau didn’t think that he and that computer system had anything to talk about.

Back in the control room, Facai couldn’t help but heave another sigh.

The researcher: “I can’t even drink water?” He set down his cup.

“But not drinking water makes one prone to kidney stones,” he said, looking somewhat conflicted.

In the interest of maintaining his enigmatic persona, Facai didn’t usually chat with the researchers here. But this time, he subconsciously chimed in: “Hey…..why are you telling me this? What business is it of mine whether or not you drink water?”

The researcher felt a little like crying. He was being bullied by a computer system.

*

*

“It’s true that I have a new target – a space pirate ringleader who’s involved in smuggling. I encountered him at that banquet, but of course he was in disguise at the time.” Kersz explained his intentions to Yu Xi in detail.

“How did you see through his disguise?” Kersz’s candidness took Yu Xi by surprise.

“A few subtle mannerisms made me suspicious, so I struck up a conversation with him,” Kersz explained.

“Ah…..oh.” Yu Xi had originally thought he would have to interrogate Kersz repeatedly before he would tell him anything.

Kersz interpreted his surprise as dissatisfaction, and continued: “This guy doesn’t just smuggle energy sources. He’ll smuggle anything that turns a profit, from contraband to people.”

“People?!” Yu Xi exclaimed. “How….how does such a thing still exist in this interstellar era?”

“They didn’t have that among the ancient humans?” Kersz was a little surprised.

“I don’t know…..I never encountered it.” Yu Xi had never dealt with humans of that sort.

“Do you still remember me telling you that the reason the mining planets employ real humans instead of androids is because the accident compensation is far cheaper than the cost of manufacturing an android?”

Yu Xi nodded.

“He doesn’t even have to pay compensation if something happens to the people he sells, and he doesn’t have to pay anyone a salary either. There’s just a relatively small buyout fee.”

“T-that kind of thing actually happens?” Yu Xi still found it difficult to believe. He had assumed that human traffickers of his sort had vanished long before humanity ever ventured into the stars.

“If there’s profit to be made, of course someone will do it.” Kersz nodded.

“Then does he specifically kidnap Illegitimates?” Yu Xi recalled that Illegitimates were all ‘ghosts,’ unregistered and untraceable, which would make them particularly convenient targets for kidnapping.

“Quite the opposite.” Kersz shrugged. “Behind every Illegitimate stands a figure of power and influence. Raising one requires a lot of capital, and someone like the Supreme Governor would never allow one of his own to be squandered like that.”

“He actually steers clear of Illegitimates so that he doesn’t offend powerful people.” In reality, it was ordinary citizens who were taken. They were kidnapped from one alliance, and then their identity chips were gouged out before they were sold to another faction.

“The Supreme Governor and his people actually associate with human traffickers?” Yu Xi’s eyes widened. “Do they want undocumented individuals to do their mining for them?”

“No, they probably wouldn’t try to buy anybody. After all, they’d be finished if it was ever exposed.” Kersz figured that the Supreme Governor’s household had other vested interests tied to this space pirate ringleader.

“I’m going to take this opportunity to get rid of him,” Kersz said. “But I won’t be the one to do it. I plan to make the Supreme Governor and his people do it themselves.”

“After all, we’re still on this planet, and for me to take direct action would be far too big of a risk. Not to mention that just killing him won’t solve the problem.” Kersz wanted to unearth evidence and expose certain insider secrets. Then he would reveal the other party’s true identity, thereby forcing the Supreme Governor to purge this space pirate himself.

“And that’s my plan,” said Kersz.

Yu Xi: “Wow!”

Kersz: “So….does that make you angry?”

Yu Xi shook his head.

“Then what were you angry about just now?” Kersz asked.

“I was angry at you for not telling me anything! We’re obviously friends!” After furiously finishing what he had to say, Yu Xi felt a little awkward.

And that was it. Because Kersz had laid out all of his plans and goals, depriving Yu Xi of the ability to ask follow-up questions.

However, Yu Xi soon found another point of contention: “Since you’re willing to tell me all of this, why didn’t you tell me right from the start?! Why did I have to be the one to ask?”

“I….I’m not really used to this.” Kersz lowered his head. “Besides, we ultimately have different goals, and you might not necessarily like what I’m doing.”

“Whether I like it or not, you should still tell me.” Yu Xi placed his hands on his hips.

“I’m sorry.” Kersz didn’t know the reason for his nerves, but he had been genuinely terrified that Yu Xi would stop speaking to him altogether. Or alternatively, that he might take a step back and stop playing those intimate “mini-games.”

Suddenly, Tau’s words rang out his Kersz’s mind.

“He doesn’t know what kind of interactions are normal between friends. But surely you do, right?”

Kersz certainly knew that things between him and Yu Xi were not normal, but he had chosen to ignore that fact.

The reason was simple: he craved Yu Xi’s touch.

He was a greedy person, and took particular satisfaction in the special way Yu Xi treated him.

Once he realized how important Yu Xi was to him, he was desperate to pull out all the stops, to exhaust every conceivable method to bind him to his side.

He wanted the most profound kind of bond.

Was this the distance between friends?

Kersz thought it must be, because it couldn’t be anything else.

Kersz dared not contemplate going any further. He lacked the capacity to make a deeper commitment. The resentment he held toward this world had not yet faded, and he feared that the fire in his heart might one day turn upon him, consuming him entirely.

What would happen if by that time, his relationship with Yu Xi had already broken free from the confines of “friendship” and moved in a deeper direction?

Kersz squeezed his eyes shut, feeling every muscle in his body tense up.

Suddenly, a hand was placed on top of his head.

Yu Xi stroked his hair: “I’ll back you up this time.”

Kersz jerked his head up to stare at Yu Xi.

“That guy is absolutely rotten! He actually kidnaps humans!” Having said this, Yu Xi realized that he resembled this remark too closely, and hurried to set the record straight for himself. “I’m different. I want humans to live happily on my planet, but he’s treating them cruelly!”

“You’re doing the right thing,” Yu Xi affirmed. He assumed that Kersz was worried he would stand in his way.

Kersz felt the touch of Yu Xi’s palm, and at this very moment, he actually hoped that Yu Xi would reprimand him. Otherwise, Kersz felt that he would only spiral even further.

“You really are honest.” Yu Xi felt his anger melt away. As it turned out, Kersz hadn’t intended to shut him out emotionally. He was just nervous.

This, in itself, was a very wondrous emotional experience.

Yu Xi stroked Kersz’s head over and over, and noticed his eyes sliding shut.

This human was really enjoying himself.

Met with such a response to his petting, Yu Xi stroked even more vigorously.

Kersz gazed at the robot in front of him, whose was looking at him with an expression of novelty: “My plan involves killing someone.”

“I know.” Yu Xi felt no pity for the pirate leader.

“In the future…..I might kill again,” Kersz said.

Yu Xi’s movements paused, and he let out a helpless sigh: “You really are a fierce human.”

“Maybe you should resort to extreme measures, such as locking me up,” Kersz suggested.

Kersz didn’t quite understand what was going through his mind, but strangely enough, he was secretly hoping that Yu Xi would do exactly that. Although he knew that his fury would be difficult to contain, as long as Yu Xi locked him up, all of his resistance would be futile.

At least then, Yu Xi wouldn’t have to live in a constant state of worry.

“I certainly won’t do that.” Yu Xi didn’t even consider it as an option. “That’s not how you treat a friend.”

Yu Xi simply felt that he needed to accept the fact that he had made a friend with a strong personality, rather than trying to find ways to stifle that individuality.

No sooner had he finished speaking than Kersz lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Yu Xi’s head.

Yu Xi’s nose was pressed against Kersz’s chest: “Kersz?”

Kersz lowered his head and brushed his lips against Yu Xi’s.

“Kersz, Tau says the way we are together doesn’t look like friendship,” said Yu Xi.

“What does he know?” Kersz covered Yu Xi’s mouth again with his own, stifling the rest of his words.

After the kiss ended, Kersz asked him: “Do you like this?”

“I like it.” Yu Xi actually knew that there was something a bit abnormal about the way they were together. He had met plenty of humans, and none of their friendships were like this.

But as for anything deeper, Yu Xi hardly dared to imagine it.

He knew he had never truly integrated into human society, and feared that taking their relationship a step further would ruin what they already had. Because Yu Xi was not yet able to see through the complexity of humans, and he didn’t feel like he fully understood himself either.

Kersz sat on Yu Xi’s lap, and Yu Xi felt him take his hand and place it against his chest: “Good friend of mine, would you like to touch?”

Yu Xi felt that Kersz’s gaze at this moment was somewhat like that of a wolf staring at meat.

In his eyes, that look was a little bit…..attractive.

He was a beautiful and dangerous human.

Yu Xi couldn’t help but feel that they were engaging in a futile act of self-deception, pretending that everything was fine even when the fire was on the verge of burning the house to the ground.

“You look like you want to eat me,” said Kersz.

Unable to see his own expression, Yu Xi could only say earnestly: “I really do want to eat you.”

Kersz pressed his smile against Yu Xi’s shoulder.

Yu Xi smiled back.

He loved the taste of this human. And he loved this feeling of everything going out of control.

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Chapter 37 << Table of Contents >> Chapter 39