Ch. 121 – “You can trust me!”
“You’re leaving?” Fang Yang asked in surprise.
He had just gone downstairs for breakfast when he encountered his Useless Shixiong and Cao Zirui, both of whom had gotten up particularly early. And just as he was about to greet them like usual, he was told that they were about to part ways.
“En.” Cao Zirui nodded.
“When…..?” Fang Yang asked. The news had erased the last traces of grogginess from him.
Cao Zirui thought for a moment: “It should be today. I’ll leave in a little while.” It was quite a long journey from Longqiu to Lingxiao Sword Sect, and he planned to catch the first flying ship that was heading out.
“So soon, ah…..” Fang Yang’s voice noticeably dropped. His entire being, body and soul, radiated a reluctance to part.
Feng Ye couldn’t help but chuckle at this sight, and he suggested: “Then how about you go back with him?”
Instead of improving his dejected expression, this suggestion just made Fang Yang look more conflicted.
There were four people in their group. Cao Zirui was returning to the sect, while Useless Shixiong was heading to the Northern Territories. And although Hao-dage hadn’t woken up yet, it went without saying that he would be accompanying Feng Ye.
And as for Fang Yang, it didn’t really matter which group he chose. It all came down to his preference.
He was reluctant to part with his friend, but he was also very curious about the north, a place he had never been to before. Both options had their own appeal. Fang Yang felt as if he was standing atop a teetering scale, unable to make up his mind.
He thought for a long time before finally coming to a decision.
“I’ll go to the Northern Territories with Shixiong.” Fang Yang clenched his eyes shut as he announced this, as if he was making an impossible choice.
Cao Zirui didn’t express an opinion on Fang Yang’s decision. Although he had secretly hoped that Fang Yang would accompany him back, he also knew that his friend was very tempted by the Northern Territories.
He simply said: “I’ve heard that the snowy mountains in the north stretch as far as the eye can see, their peaks covered in snow that never melts. It’s supposed to be a truly magnificent sight. Be sure to have a good look, and tell me all about it when you get back.”
“Definitely!” The hesitance vanished from Fang Yang’s face, and he gave a toothy smile.
The corners of Cao Zirui’s mouth curved upward. It was only a slight change, but it was an extreme rarity for his face to move at all.
Feng Ye watched this scene with his chin resting on one hand. As if infected by their mood, he smiled as well.
“Breakfast is ready! Piping hot steamed buns and porridge!” The innkeeper called out, emerging from the back courtyard with steamed buns and a large pot of porridge.
The three of them happened to be a bit hungry, so they sat down at the table and began to eat.
After the meal, it was time to leave. Cao Zirui had long since decided to return to the sect, so his luggage was already packed. He bowed formally to Feng Ye as he took his leave.
Feng Ye returned the salute and urged: “Be careful on your way back.”
“En.” Cao Zirui nodded, then looked toward Fang Yang, wanting to say goodbye to him too.
But Fang Yang spoke up first: “I’ll see you off! I’ll walk you to the pier and come back once I see you board.”
There was no problem with this. Feng Ye wasn’t in any rush to leave, and this would give Fang Yang more time to say his goodbyes.
Thus, with all three in agreement, Fang Yang waved to Feng Ye and then left the inn with Cao Zirui.
Feng Ye sat by the window and watched the two as they walked away, chattering as they went. They seemed to have an endless amount of things to talk about.
That’s probably just how it is between close friends, Feng Ye thought.
Watching them walk side by side while he sat alone at the inn, Feng Ye suddenly thought of Hao Chen.
He looked away from the window and turned his gaze upward. That fish was taking an unusually long time to wake up today. The sun might not be shining on his backside yet, but that wasn’t because it was still early. Rather, it was because of the overcast sky.
Dark clouds were gathering, and the humidity in the air was rising.
Although Feng Ye was unable to summon clouds or rain, he was still a dragon with an affinity for water, and he could tell that it was about to pour.
Most people didn’t like rainy weather, and found the feeling of their clothes clinging wetly to their bodies terribly uncomfortable. But this fish was an exception. The clouds and rain alleviated the dryness of this environment, allowing a dried fish to be reborn.
This was the sort of weather that Hao Chen found extremely comfortable.
Perhaps due to this, the fish was sleeping especially soundly and had yet to wake up.
Feng Ye looked at the breakfast on the table, which wouldn’t be steaming hot for much longer. He thought for a moment, then went to the counter and fetched a clean bowl. He ladled some porridge into it and prepared to go and deliver it to Hao Chen.
He still hadn’t figured out how to handle his relationship with Hao Chen, but……in the end, there was no escaping it. He would just have to take it step by step.
Just as Feng Ye finished filling the bowl, he suddenly heard the staircase creak under a set of footsteps.
There were only four people staying at the inn. Two had already left, and one was sitting downstairs, so the process of elimination made it clear who the person coming down must be.
This saved Feng Ye a bit of effort, and he simply waited for the other to descend the stairs.
Although Feng Ye looked calm on the surface, he was actually very apprehensive deep down. Each footstep coming down the stairs seemed to tread directly on his heart.
He gradually caught sight of Hao Chen, starting with the hem of his robes at the top of the stairs. Then the rest of him came into view, and their eyes met.
Perhaps because of the dim lighting today, Feng Ye felt that Hao Chen’s eyes were unusually dark, and so deep that he couldn’t see to the bottom.
This fish always had a faint smile on his lips, and frivolousness was his default state. But at this moment, there was no hint of a smile on his face.
It was just a lack of a smile, which wasn’t anything unusual. Even someone who smiled easily couldn’t keep a smile on their face at every given moment.
But inexplicably, Feng Ye felt that Hao Chen was particularly serious today.
Exceptionally serious.
As for what sort of event might have brought about such a change…..Feng Ye thought back to the previous night.
He shifted his gaze away restlessly and picked up the teacup beside him. It was empty, but he held it in his hands to mask his unease.
Hao Chen took a seat directly opposite him. Feng Ye pushed the bowl he had been about to take upstairs closer to him, then greeted him in the most normal tone he could manage: “Up so late? It’s closer to lunch now than to breakfast.”
Hao Chen glanced at the porridge in front of him, but didn’t pick it up.
He seemed to have no intention of eating it. He narrowed his eyes at Feng Ye and he got straight to the point: “Don’t you have something you want to say to me?”
Here it was. The thing Feng Ye had been dreading. Hao Chen’s brazenness left him no room to maneuver.
The more Feng Ye thought about the previous night and his relationship with Hao Chen, the more confused he became. And when Hao Chen asked him this question now, his mind just fell into further disarray.
He fell silent.
Hao Chen didn’t press him, and just waited patiently for a reply.
“For last night…..thank you.”
This was how Feng Ye replied after his long silence.
It wasn’t the answer Hao Chen wanted.
‘Thank you’ was too polite, and created distance between them.
Hao Chen actually hadn’t fallen asleep at all, and remained awake all night.
While Feng Ye was asleep, Hao Chen had lain there beside the pillow and stared at the side of his face. Then, when Feng Ye woke up, he pretended to be asleep.
He was a master at pretending to sleep. As long as he didn’t let his hands wander, Feng Ye wouldn’t suspect a thing.
And indeed, Feng Ye hadn’t caught on. He had thought himself stealthy as he rearranged Hao Chen’s arms and legs, then left the room.
While Feng Ye was talking with Fang Yang and Cao Zirui on the ground floor, Hao Chen had gazed at the empty pillow beside him, deep in thought.
The way Feng Ye had slipped away quietly was just like those scumbags in the mortal world who snuck off after sleeping with someone.
Of course, Feng Ye didn’t quite count as a scumbag. They hadn’t done anything more than embrace each other that night.
But this action had sent a signal to Hao Chen. He had finally managed to squeeze through a gap in the dragon’s hard, bristling shell, but this didn’t mean that he was welcome inside. This dragon seemed ready to withdraw into himself again and seal the gap behind him.
Hao Chen wasn’t someone incapable of patience. Having lived for so long, time meant little to him most days. To him, there was no difference between waiting days or weeks, or even years or centuries.
But that was only because so few things mattered to him, and there was little in this world that he looked forward to.
But Feng Ye was different.
He told himself to approach the dragon patiently, but no one would be able to remain unmoved when faced with the person they liked.
It would have been one thing if there was no progress made at any point. But to have actually gotten closer, only for things to go back to the way they were before…..Hao Chen couldn’t accept that.
While advancing was not always better than retreating, constantly backing down wasn’t necessarily the right approach either. Sometimes, applying a little pressure could yield more satisfactory results.
Besides, Hao Chen didn’t want to wait any longer. He wanted to know exactly what Feng Ye had been through and what kind of pain he had suffered.
While he was lost in thought upstairs, he had also been waiting to see if Feng Ye would return. But he hadn’t. And Feng Ye’s reply just now confirmed his conjecture that this dragon intended to withdraw.
In that case…..
“Feng Ye,” Hao Chen said abruptly.
This was only the second time since they’d met that Hao Chen had called him by name.
Feng Ye’s grip on his teacup tightened slightly, and he gave a flat hum.
“The day before last, when Ling Yun injured your left shoulder in the underground ruins, you pulled away when I tried to examine your wound.” Hao Chen looked directly at Feng Ye as he spoke.
Feng Ye hummed again, his eyes darting around. One second he was looking out the window, and the next he was staring at his empty teacup. Anywhere but at Hao Chen.
“Why?” Hao Chen asked, then answered himself: “Because you don’t trust me. It was instinctive for you to flinch when I approached your wound.”
Feng Ye said nothing.
The sky was growing darker. A damp breeze wafted through the open window, announcing the impending rain.
Hao Chen continued as if talking to himself: “But I can’t blame you for that. It’s true that I’ve kept a great deal from you. I wasn’t honest with you, so it’s natural that you don’t trust me.”
“You’re pretty self-aware.” Feng Ye raised an eyebrow, making sure to keep his tone light and teasing.
Hao Chen smiled at him, the seriousness leaving his face for just a moment. But in the next second, it returned even more strongly than before.
He changed the subject: “But later, when Fang Yang tried to look at your wound, you rebuffed him as well.”
“What kind of ulterior motives could a silly child like Fang Yang possibly have? Is he even capable of harming you? If even he has malicious intentions, then there is likely not a single good person left in this world.”
“But even so, you still rejected him.” Hao Chen leaned forward slightly as he spoke.
“So from this, perhaps I can draw a conclusion?” He fixed his gaze on Feng Ye and said with some force to his tone: “Feng Ye, you never trust anyone, do you?”
With a sudden whoosh, the accumulated moisture in the heavy rainclouds finally reached a critical point. Just as Hao Chen finished speaking, raindrops the size of beans pelted down upon the world.
People on the street immediately began to run and shout, packing up their stalls to take shelter from the rain. The activity outside heated up, but a chill settled between the two people sitting at the table.
Feng Ye stared motionlessly at the teacup in his hands as the rain poured down outside.
Although Hao Chen had phrased his words as a question, his tone was very certain. Tearing away the veil of pretense, he had put everything out in the open.
At long last, Feng Ye could no longer avoid it. He raised his eyes to meet Hao Chen’s gaze.
“Rely on a mountain, and it may fall. Rely on a river, and it may flow away.” Feng Ye spoke each word deliberately.
This was his answer to Hao Chen.
He trusted only himself.
Hao Chen understood the implication in his words. He spoke again, his voice rising over the sound of the rain to echo through the empty inn.
“You can trust me!”
As he spoke, he stretched his hand across the table. His fingertips brushed against Feng Ye’s, then moved forward to clasp his hand.
Feng Ye lowered his gaze toward the hand Hao Chen was holding, but did nothing.
Hao Chen went on: “I know that trusting someone is very, very difficult for you, Feng Ye.”
“I don’t expect you to tell me everything right now, and I’m not asking you to change right away. I just want you to give me a name.”
“A name?” Feng Ye cut in, a little puzzled.
Hao Chen nodded, stating firmly: “A name.”
“Feng Ye. That’s not your original name, is it?”
It made sense. Feng Ye had kept a low profile and even went so far as to borrow a human body for his visit to the mortal realm, so he certainly wouldn’t have used his original name.
“Feng Ye” was likely an alias. Hao Chen had thought so all along.
Faced with this question, Feng Ye fell silent again.
Hao Chen thought for a moment, then suddenly brought up a topic from a long while ago: “Do you remember what I told you before? That if you begged me, I would consider whether or not to help you. Then later it became ‘as long as you beg me, I’ll definitely help you.’”
Feng Ye remembered these words of Hao Chen’s. His voice had carried a tone of condescending charity as he spoke, and this misconception had only arisen due to their ignorance to each other’s identities.
But that was all in the past. Feng Ye had long since put it out of his mind, and was a little puzzled as to why Hao Chen was bringing it up now.
Hao Chen smiled. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he recalled his past foolishness, and explained to Feng Ye: “Feng Ye, just tell me your name, and no matter what you ask of me from now on, I will help you.”
His vow had been upgraded for the third time. He would go to any lengths to help him, no begging required, the moment Feng Ye voiced a request.
He promised this as the Lord of the North Sea.
There could be no doubt that it was a solemn vow, and at the same time, it demonstrated Hao Chen’s own trust in Feng Ye.
He was able to make such a vow because he trusted that Feng Ye wouldn’t ask him to do anything that went against his principles.
Feng Ye’s eyes flickered.
Hao Chen continued to add more weight to his promise, patiently urging: “I’ll also tell you my identity and my reason for coming here. I’ll hold nothing back. All I need from you is a name.”
“Just a name.”
Feng Ye kept his head lowered, staring at their clasped hands. He was silent for a long while.
“Tell me your real name, Feng Ye.” Unlike his urgent tone from before, Hao Chen’s voice was now slow and almost gentle.
But in contrast to that gentle tone, his hand grasped Feng Ye’s tightly as he spoke. It was as if he wanted to transmit his strength to Feng Ye through this connection and help him come to a decision.
And miraculously, Feng Ye did make up his mind. He raised his eyes to look at Hao Chen.
Hao Chen’s heart pounded with a mixture of anxiety and satisfaction. He had come up with these words after a lot of thought up in the room, and felt that they were extremely compelling.
He had put so much into his vow, but all he wanted in return was a name. Or rather, he wanted Feng Ye’s trust. Even the tiniest amount would be fine. As long as Feng Ye took this first step, Hao Chen was confident that he could expand that tiny amount even more.
Hao Chen felt that his chance of success was extremely high. It was the simplest request one could make, and he truly didn’t believe that he would fail.
But as it happened…..
“Feng Ye,” Feng Ye replied.
Seeing the blank, unreactive look on Hao Chen’s face, he repeated: “Feng Ye. That’s my name.”
Hao Chen finally came to a realization.
He had failed.
He had overestimated himself, and underestimated the impassable defenses around Feng Ye’s heart.
Inch by inch, he pulled away the hand clasped around Feng Ye’s.
And as their fingertips finally parted, he stood abruptly from his seat and strode away with a flick of his sleeves.
His movements were so violent that they sent the table and chairs beside him crashing to the floor.
But he paid no attention to this. The scowl on his face was gloomier than the wind and rain outside.
Without looking back, he walked out alone into the downpour.
Feng Ye stayed in his seat and stared at the mess in front of him, as silent and motionless as a statue.
“What’s going on?” The innkeeper heard the commotion and emerged from the back to investigate, only to find that his perfectly good table and chairs had been knocked over. Some were even smashed to the point of having broken legs or missing parts.
Feng Ye’s lips curved into a slightly self-deprecating smile. He shook his head and said to the innkeeper: “I’ll compensate you.”
Having said this, he went upstairs alone.
The innkeeper scratched his head in puzzlement. But knowing that this group wasn’t short of money and probably wouldn’t cheat him, he went off to continue his work in the back.
Outside the inn, the rain showed no signs of abating, and instead seemed to be growing heavier.
There were hardly any people still out on the streets. Most of them had either hurried home in the rain or taken shelter under someone else’s eaves.
Birds were more sensitive than humans, and would retreat to their nests before a storm arrived. Directly opposite the inn was an ancient tree, its trunk inhabited by a family of sparrows.
The sparrows huddled in their nest, shivering not because of the cold, but because…..
A black snake slithered out from behind the nest with a rustling sound. He stared in the direction of the inn, where he had witnessed the conversation between Feng Ye and Hao Chen, as well as their falling-out.
“Hehe.” The black snake couldn’t help but let out a low chuckle. His figure dispersed, and his laughter gradually faded amidst the wind and rain.
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