Ch 30 – No Love, No Hate
Tau hugged his little dinosaur as he walked past the sofa where Yu Xi and Kersz were sitting side by side, and glanced toward the two before looking away.
A while later, he walked past again with the little dinosaur still in his arms. Tau glanced at Yu Xi and Kersz again: “Are you two trying to hold hands?”
“Ah?!” Yu Xi was startled, and Kersz fixed Tau with a glare.
“Just now, you were awkwardly moving your hands closer to each other. I’ve walked back and forth so many times, yet you’re still being so hesitant.” Tau didn’t understand.
But he did understand one thing: “Are you two in a relationship?”
“Of course not, we’re friends,” said Yu Xi.
Yu Xi was somewhat eager to experience that legendary romance, and naturally, it would be even better if it was Kersz sharing that experience with him.
But Yu Xi was a little afraid. Or rather, terrified.
Dating your friend was not a good choice, because romantic love and friendship were two different things, and it was even possible to lose that friendship in the end. Yu Xi only had one good human, and that was Kersz. He didn’t want to lose him.
“Friends?” Tau looked down at the little dinosaur in his arms waving its forelimbs, and couldn’t bring himself to say the rest.
He felt that Yu Xi and Kersz were the type of friends whose relationship was not completely platonic. Those kinds of messy, chaotic friends would fool around behind each other’s backs and then pretend like it didn’t happen.
Tau had only encountered these types of “friends” on certain special missions.
Had they slept together last time? Perhaps.
Wasn’t that sort of thing unpleasant? To prove their affection, they participated in such an unenjoyable exercise that wasn’t pleasurable at all between two humans.
It was said that doing that with an android was the ultimate pleasure.
As he pondered this, Tau felt that something was amiss. Thinking about it carefully, he realized that he had forgotten that Yu Xi was a robot, not a human.
Oh! No wonder Kersz sold his body so readily. It turned out that he was being pleasured by Yu Xi.
As expected of a degenerate space pirate.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kersz asked Tau.
Tau turned his head away: “I’m not.”
“No? Your forehead was all scrunched up one moment, then relaxed in the next. You’ve been thinking about me behind my back quite a lot, eh?” Kersz didn’t believe that he had no thoughts about him.
Tau feigned ignorance and left while feeding the little dinosaur.
“He’s really presumptuous, ah,” Kersz said. “One day, he’ll know what it feels like too.”
“Mm.” Yu Xi didn’t hear what Kersz was saying at all. He wanted to hold Kersz’s hand, but he kept reaching out and pulling his hand back, not sure how to go about it.
Kersz noticed this, of course, and wanted to firmly grasp Yu Xi’s hand and put an end to his hesitation and unease.
But he didn’t dare.
He wasn’t sure what he actually felt for Yu Xi. He…..he seemed to be dreaming about Yu Xi far too often.
But wouldn’t things go wrong if their relationship developed too quickly?
Besides, Yu Xi already had everything, so what more could Kersz give him?
Kersz was somewhat disheartened. He worried that something bad might happen if he and Yu Xi got together impulsively. If the two of them never spoke to each other again, he would truly have no friends left.
They were both excited to take things a step further, but afraid that any further changes would destroy what they already had.
What they had at the moment was too perfect.
Yu Xi felt incredibly happy, yet incredibly discontent.
How could such contradictory emotions exist within him at the same time?
Was there a problem with his emotion module?
Yu Xi and Kersz were unable to resolve their physical intimacy issue for the time being, but they soon discovered that Tau seemed be dealing with an issue of his own.
Curtis introduced them to a new friend – a man about the same age as the Supreme Governor.
Tau recognized this person. He was another Illegitimate.
This man was the illegitimate child of Curtis’s grandfather, but he hadn’t participated in missions. He had been taken in by another of Curtis’s relatives who’d lost a child, and the adoption took place before he even began to carry out his assigned work.
This was an extraordinary fate. A man who went from being an illegitimate child to becoming a citizen with a name and a surname.
The guy was also very annoying.
This wasn’t Tau’s first time meeting him.
“Why do I feel that there’s an aura of lifelessness around you? It’s very familiar.” The man asked with some confusion, taking a seat next to Tau.
Curtis explained to the man: “Don’t say anything more. He’s a single father.”
Tau remained silent.
“Oh, your family experienced a tragedy?” The man understood, and quite naturally placed an arm around Tau’s shoulders. “Friend, I empathize with you. I’ve lost a lot too. But you have a child, so you need to be more positive.”
This comforting technique was very odd. Even Yu Xi found it strange.
“It will take some time to get back on my feet. I hope I can get through this.” Tau hadn’t forgotten the role he was playing.
“But the more depressed you are, the worse your situation will become,” said the man.
Yu Xi tugged at Kersz’s sleeve when he heard this, and asked once Kersz lowered his head toward him: “Why do I feel like he has an intellectual disability?”
Kersz’s eyes widened. He thought so too, but he never expected to hear those words from Yu Xi’s mouth.
“Offering comfort to a stranger is a very risky thing to do,” said Yu Xi. “After all, you don’t know what kind of person they are, much less what they’ve been through, so randomly offering comfort can lead to disaster.”
Kersz nodded: “That’s true.”
“Uncle Fusya, stop babbling about positivity all the time.” Curtis rolled his eyes.
Fusya had always been like this, always talking about “positive energy” and telling people to think more optimistically.
Curtis and Fusya were very familiar with one another, all because Fusya had discovered the resentment in Curtis’s heart.
Fusya often went to Curtis’s side to take care of him, but he also kept his “positive energy” in mind all day long.
Fusya was very worried upon learning that Curtis had made three new friends. He felt that the type of friends Curtis tended to make were all the bad sort, fairweather friends who only knew how to lead this kid astray.
He was even more dissatisfied when he laid eyes upon the lifeless Tau.
He was just like those “Illegitimates.”
Fusya had also been an Illegitimate, so he was very familiar with the deathly aura that emanated from these individuals.
Fusya initially thought that these people intended to harm Curtis, but realized that this wasn’t the case when he saw Kersz and Yu Xi.
Kersz and Yu Xi didn’t carry that deathly aura that repulsed him, and were both very vibrant.
When Yu Xi first saw Fusya, his eyes glimmered, and he seemed to really want the man to touch him.
This sort of inner longing was something that Illegitimates lacked.
Could it be said that Tau had fallen to such a state after losing his wife?
With this in mind, Fusya extended a private invitation to Tau, wanting to help him overcome his grief.
“My god.” Kersz couldn’t take it anymore. He took exception to Fusya spending time with his friend, but there was nothing he could do to stop him. “Where do you plan to take him? To the Philanthropic Museum?”
“No one can discover a reason to live in a place like that!” Curtis said, “What he needs is the numbness of alcohol. It won’t do any good to stare at some rich lord’s philanthropic donations.”
“You’re being ridiculous. I find meaning in such things. Have you forgotten what I used to be?” Fusya asked Curtis.
Curtis fell silent.
Fusya proceeded to ask Tau again, though his invitation was now bordering on aggressive.
“Can I come along?” Yu Xi was very interested in Fusya’s plans.
“I’m sorry, baby, but this is your uncle’s healing journey.” Fusya reached out and patted Yu Xi’s head.
Yu Xi nuzzled against Fusya’s palm.
But unlike other humans on this first-class planet, who would exclaim in appreciation at the child’s affectionate gesture, he simply maintained his smile and withdrew his hand.
This left Yu Xi, who was trying to act cute, at a bit of a loss.
At this point, shouldn’t Fusya say something akin to “this child is so cute” and continue to stroke him, or even ask Kersz if he could hold the child?
Even that little scoundrel Curtis would react like this, ah.
Yu Xi felt as if he had been brushed off.
Fuysa proceeded to invite Tau again.
Tau had no other choice. He accepted the invitation.
That very evening, Fusya compiled all of the details of their conversation and sent them to the Supreme Governor.
“You suspect that this man named ‘Kaye’ is an Illegitimate?” the Supreme Governor said over the call.
“Yes, he has a repulsive, lifeless aura around him.” Fusya nodded.
“Do the other two not seem like Illegitimates?” the Supreme Governor asked.
“They do not. The older one is always staring at the younger one, who seems curious about everything,” Fusya said.
“Give me some time. An Illegitimate wouldn’’t care about a so-called ‘child.’ No matter how good his acting is, there will always be flaws,” Fusya said.
“If there are any problems, inform me at once,” said the Supreme Governor.
Fusya nodded in agreement, then reminded the Supreme Governor: “Don’t frown so much all the time.”
The Supreme Governor: “Hm?”
“Dwelling on too many unhappy things will shorten your lifespan. You should be more positive and optimistic,” Fusya advised. “You need to expose yourself to more positive things. Although I’m trying to test Kaye, visiting the Philanthropic Museum can definitely instill positivity in people. Shall I take pictures for you?”
The Supreme Governor remained silent.
“Being the Supreme Governor must be exhausting, so you need to adjust your mood. Uncle and Auntie certainly hoped that you would grow into a positive and optimistic child,” Fusya continued.
The Supreme Governor: “There is a reason for my unhappiness.”
“No matter the reason, you should smile when it’s time to smile,” said Fusya. “I have a few books on ‘maintaining happiness,’ which are very well-written. You can take a look when you have some free time, and I’ll discuss them with you later.”
The Supreme Governor: “A robot wants to kidnap me and make me a breeding stud.”
Fusya: …..
Fusya: “Ah?”
“This message was sent by my illegitimate child.” The Supreme Governor took a sip of tea, his face expressionless. “Should I really smile? If I’m captured and used as a breeding stud, should I still smile?”
Fusya’s mind was unable to process this information.
“I can’t imagine the horrific treatment I’ll face, but I’ll smile when it happens. Thank you for your advice, Cousin.” The Supreme Governor then hung up the call.
Fusya was still unable to react.
He sent a message to the Supreme Governor’s wife, asking her if she was aware of this matter.
The Supreme Governor would never tell such a lame, over-the-top joke.
The High Lord was quick to reply: [It’s true, hahaha.]
Fusya: ……
What was there to laugh about, ah?
When Fusya fell asleep, he was still consumed by worry for his cousin.
He even dreamed of the Supreme Governor being locked up in a cage.
He didn’t sleep well that night. Upon waking, he found that he looked somewhat unwell, with a puffy face and dark circles under his eyes.
Fusya lay in a medical pod for a while, then patted his cheeks and gave himself a standard smile in the mirror.
He looked up at the window, where sunlight filtered through the semi-transparent curtains and fell on the vase below, which held flowers in full bloom.
Such beautiful flowers were a rare find in interstellar space. Fusya had the system spray some water on them, pretending it was dew.
Now, they looked even more perfect.
Fuysa then lifted his shirt in front of the mirror, showing off his well-developed muscles.
He was always very self-disciplined.
This was what a positive, normal life should look like.
Today was a beautiful, perfect day, marred only by that man he suspected of being an Illegitimate.
If not for having to test that man, Fusya’s day would be even happier.
Thinking of this, Fusya reached up and patted his face again.
Wrong, wrong, how could he think like that? That wasn’t positive at all!
Right, he was doing this for his nephew! He had to make sure there were no problems with his nephew’s friend.
Fusya changed his clothes and headed to the meeting spot.
Tau arrived early.
Kersz and Yu Xi didn’t restrict him in any way. Yu Xi only said that if he was exposed, he would make Tau deliver food to his breeding stud father, so that he could witness his pathetic state firsthand.
Sitting at the entrance of the museum, Tau looked more lifeless than ever.
This wasn’t due to Yu Xi’s threats. He was already used to those. But when he went out today, the little dinosaur had called him “Daddy” in a childish voice.
And suddenly, Tau didn’t want to go out anymore. He wanted to stay with the little dinosaur. This was the first time he had been called “Daddy.”
But it was not to be. Kersz and Yu Xi repeatedly urged him to hurry up and leave.
Tau wasn’t sure if the food he’d made would be enough for the little dinosaur. His skills had yet to improve, and the food he made wasn’t refined enough. He wanted the little dinosaur to eat more delicious food.
He wanted to keep hearing it call him “Daddy.”
“You’re here so early?” Fusya greeted Tau.
Tau stared at him, then replied listlessly: “Yeah.”
After that, Tau followed Fusya around for a stroll. During their conversation, Tau came to the realization that Fusya harbored suspicions about him and was probing for information.
As for why he was probing for information…..his father probably had his eye on him.
Tau had always been aware that Fusya had a good relationship with the Supreme Governor. Fusya could even be considered Tau’s teacher, as he had taught him some of his concealment skills.
Tau had never doubted Fusya’s acumen, and was aware of how difficult he was to deal with. Once Fusya suspected him, he would utilize every means to learn everything about him.
In other words, it would be a long while before he could accompany the little dinosaur again. He had to go out and deal with Fusya.
Tau was a little frustrated.
Especially after visiting the museum. Yu Xi even gave him a call because the little dinosaur missed him.
The little dinosaur only knew the word “daddy” at the moment, and could only convey its emotions through this one word.
Tau had the illusion that his heart was being gripped by the little dinosaur’s claws, and he yearned to go back and see it.
This reaction of his surprised Fusya.
He sensed resentment from Tau, but an Illegitimate wouldn’t harbor such an emotion.
Could it be that he had misjudged the situation?
No, it was better to test him a little more just to be on the safe side.
He arranged to meet Tau again the next day, feeling that Tau disliked him even more now.
When Tau got home, he found Yu Xi and Kersz playing the hand-holding game again, very close but still not touching.
They sat side by side on the sofa, heads turned away from each other.
Kersz’s trembling hand was hovering over Yu Xi’s, as if something was wrong with his nerves.
Tau strode forward.
“Ya~ You’re back! The dinosaur missed you a lot!” Yu Xi said with a smile.
Tau slapped Kersz’s hand, forcing it to touch Yu Xi’s.
“Ya ya ya!” Yu Xi exclaimed in surprise.
“What are you doing?!” Kersz demanded.
“When you threatened me before, didn’t you say you were going to capture my father and use him as a breeding stud?” Tau asked Yu Xi.
Yu Xi was still making ‘ya ya ya’ sounds, and nodded as he made them.
“Where are you going to lock him up? Do you have a plan?” Tau asked.
Yu Xi: “Ah?”
“Oh! I’ve prepared a very well-protected room for him…..well, to be precise, it should be called a prison,” Yu Xi explained. “But I’ve arranged some really cute decorations for it in hopes that he can live very happily there for the rest of his life.”
Tau: “Do you have a photo of it?”
Yu Xi: “I can get one.” He could have the planet’s surveillance system take it.
“I want a copy,” said Tau.
Yu Xi didn’t understand: “What do you need a photo for? Are you going to secretly analyze the prison for escape routes?”
“He won’t be able to escape. No matter what you try, none of you will be able to escape the planet by any means.” Yu Xi shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t know why, but I want my father to see the photo too,” said Tau. “This might be his future home.”
Yu Xi: “Ah?”
Kersz: “Hiss!”
“You can watch while I send the message,” said Tau.
Yu Xi and Kersz exchanged a glance.
Yu Xi: “Is this okay? Why do I feel like he’s acting really strange?”
After a brief moment of stunned silence, Kersz decided to watch the spectacle: “Let him give it a try?”
Yu Xi was still somewhat uneasy, but he chose to trust Kersz’s judgment.
Yu Xi took a picture using the surveillance system, and then he and Kersz watched as Tau relayed the message.
The steps Tau took to send the message were complicated, but Yu Xi quickly discerned the pattern.
*
*
Fusya was reporting the interim results of his investigation to the Supreme Governor.
Tau indeed exhibited many negative emotions that Fusya couldn’t understand. He didn’t like those emotions, but he had to admit that the other’s behavior was somewhat unlike that of an Illegitimate.
“His expression was especially rich after he received a call, as if he was worried about someone,” Fusya said. “He really does seem to have a child.”
“So the lifeless aura he carries is truly due to the loss of his spouse?” the Supreme Governor asked.
“It’s unfortunate that they’re not members of the Interstellar Alliance, so we’re unable to investigate their backgrounds,” Fusya lamented.
Just as the Supreme Governor was about to speak again, a communication panel suddenly popped up.
[Lord Governor, another message from 152 has arrived! He even posted a photo!]
Fuysa noticed the shift in the Supreme Governor’s expression and asked him about it.
“That kidnapped 152 is contacting me again.” The Supreme Governor shared his screen so that Fusya could see it too.
152’s new message was still very perplexing.
[They said that if I cause them any trouble or don’t obey them, they’ll kidnap Father and make him a breeding stud.]
[I’m trying to be obedient, but I keep running into trouble.]
This was followed by a photo that had been pieced together and reconstructed.
[This is the dwelling they prepared for Father. If I fail, this is where he will become a stud.]
[The environment is quite nice. Father can adapt to it.]
The Supreme Governor: …..
The Supreme Governor frowned: “Have I offended 152?” Why did he feel like the other party was threatening him?
Fusya: “Isn’t this blanket a little too pink?”
The Supreme Governor: “Fusya.”
Fusya: “Pardon me. I’ve missed the point, haven’t I?”
The Supreme Governor let out a heavy sigh.
Fusya continued: “Hey, look, there’s a framed photo of you sitting there.”
The Supreme Governor: …..
The Supreme Governor: “Fusya, if I’m captured, I will definitely recommend you to them.”
“You would let space pirates take away our entire family?” Fusya was shocked.
The Supreme Governor: “Just you. There are plenty of other family members.”
Fusya: “If I’m captured, I will implicate the entire family.”
The Supreme Governor fell silent.
Then he commended him: “Such ruthless methods.”
The Supreme Governor ended the call.
Not long after, his wife called him.
Before the High Lord could even open her mouth, she discovered that a family comedy movie was playing on the other end of the line.
“When did your tastes change?” the High Lord asked him.
“I just had a sudden longing to have an ordinary family. There’s too much backstabbing and infighting in ours.” The Supreme Governor’s expression was still as unaffected as ever.
*
*
“Do you hate your father?” Kersz asked Tau.
“I’ve never hated my father,” said Tau.
Yu Xi disagreed: “But if I hadn’t stopped you just now, you were even planning to splice the Supreme Governor’s image onto the prison photo as a demonstration.”
“Only to cause my father to feel a sense of crisis.” As he answered, Tau was preparing food for the little dinosaur, which was nuzzling against him.
The little dinosaur had missed Tau terribly, and wished it could be with him every moment.
But Tau had agreed to meet Fusya again tomorrow, so he would have to part ways with it again.
“I still want to splice my father’s photo in,” Tau said.
Kersz: “This is the definition of hatred.”
Tau: “No. I don’t have such feelings.”
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Neon Dragonfly Translations 