Ch 40 – Isn’t This Awkward?

Yu Xi wanted Tau to give up those TV dramas, but Tau refused.

“I thought you only liked to watch early childhood education programs.”

Yu Xi didn’t supervise what Tau read and watched each day. He respected human privacy. But how had Tau switched so quickly from early childhood education videos to melodramas?

“Am I just too oblivious to the passing of time? Why has your growth caught me so completely off guard?” Yu Xi felt that he needed to do some soul-searching.

“But those sorts of TV series are very good to watch.” Tau didn’t want Yu Xi to take them away.

Yu Xi thought for a moment, then said: “Do you want to fall in love?”

“No.” Tau shook his head.

“Actually…..” Kersz suddenly spoke up. “Tau might have a certain longing for that kind of affection.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Tau scowled.

“Tau hasn’t quite gotten to that point.” Yu Xi felt that Tau was a very peculiar human, and didn’t yet possess the capacity for love.

“Being ready for something and wanting it are two different things,” said Kersz. “Addiction to those kinds of stories often comes from a longing for human connection, but also worry about potential conflicts when spending time with others.”

“Stories like that always emphasize that sort of love again and again, love that doesn’t vanish even if the heavens were to crumble and the earth to shatter.”

When he finished speaking, Kersz noticed that both Yu Xi and Tau were staring at him.

“What? Are you surprised? Back when I was just starting to mature, I wanted things like that too, you know.” Kersz crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not like I jumped directly from childhood to how I am now.”

Yu Xi was indeed a bit surprised: “So you’ve also fantasized about having the passionate love of a domineering person?”

“It’s not that. I actually fantasized about becoming a brooding, enigmatic man, the kind who had suffered countless wounds and was a mystery to everyone.” Kersz shrugged. “The kind of man who’s aloof and never smiles.”

Tau: “Are you talking about the current you?”

Kersz: “I still smile.”

Tau disagreed: “Your smiles are fake.”

“Anyway, back then, I thought that wounded, mysterious people were super cool. I fantasized about encountering a powerful companion on my solitary journey, someone even stronger than myself, who was drawn to my solitary nature and inexplicably liked me.” Kersz continued, “They would see me as different from everyone else.”

Yu Xi nodded in strong agreement: “You are definitely different from everyone else.”

Kersz: …..

Yu Xi: “And I don’t know why, but in my eyes, you just keep becoming more and more special.”

Kersz: “Ah….huh?”

What was this? Wasn’t Yu Xi the very embodiment of the “immortal being” he had fantasized about in his childhood? How could such an absurd, romantic fantasy possibly be associated with Yu Xi?

Didn’t Yu Xi resemble that fantasy a little too much?

Yu Xi gazed intently into Kersz’s eyes, and Kersz seemed to see tiny flecks of light flickering within those cyan depths.

Kersz quickly looked away and changed the subject: “In short, Tau wants an intimate relationship.”

Tau: “What were you two doing in front of me just now?”

Kersz: “The focus is on you right now, not us.”

Tau suspected that Kersz wanted to change the subject.

Kersz continued: “You’re drawn to those fictional relationships because they feel safer to you.”

“No,” Tau denied. “Illegitimates don’t have such desires.”

Kersz raised an eyebrow.

Tau looked away from him, then took Xiao Konglong and went back to his room.

Yu Xi watched him go, and Kersz remained in place, marveling at the speed of Tau’s growth.

“You really should watch fewer horror movies,” Yu Xi told Kersz.

“Those things don’t scare me.” Kersz shrugged.

“Your heartbeat says otherwise.” Yu Xi felt that much of the time, Kersz was just putting on a brave face.

“Can you please refrain from monitoring my heartbeat next time?” Kersz asked helplessly.

“It sounds very beautiful.” Having said this, Yu Xi let out a despondent sigh. “Why do so many people badmouth you, ah?” He didn’t bring up deleting those comments again, but he really was very upset about it.

Yu Xi truly believed that Kersz’s actions had no chance of altering the current reality. Even if those high-and-mighty leaders were all killed, new ones would simply be elevated to take their place.

Kersz couldn’t change the quality of life of all of humanity.

No one could do that.

Humans would continue to strangle each other until the day arrived when someone shattered the barriers between human minds, using technology to forcibly tie those isolated islands together.

At that time, all human minds would merge, becoming one.

With no more preconceptions, everyone would understand one another.

The excitement and mystery in life would fade, but suffering would vanish too.

Before that, everyone was a tiny, singular island unto themselves, perceiving one another through distant observation and self-projection.

Somewhere amongst them was a volcano, and perhaps there were more on other distant islands.

Another lone island might be lush and verdant, likely teeming with life.

Yu XI mentioned this possibility to Kersz, but Kersz’s expression became somewhat troubled: “Are you saying that anyone would be able to look into my mind?”

“You would learn all their secrets too,” said Yu Xi.

“I refuse,” said Kersz. “I would rather die an ordinary person with my own biases.”

“Why?” Yu Xi didn’t understand. “Haven’t humans always strived for mutual understanding? It’s painful to not be understood.”

“I don’t need so many people to understand me. For me, pain is a very private matter.” Kersz didn’t need anyone to empathize with his suffering.

There was no need. Those were his parents, and nobody else’s.

Kersz was selfish. He had no intention of sharing the meager joys of his childhood, nor the parental love he’d received, because these things belonged to him alone.

For that reason, he was against allowing others to understand his pain.

That was something that belonged solely to him.

“Perhaps back then, there were people who thought the same way as you. Instead of choosing to walk toward the future alongside other humans, they clung to their cherished sentiments, to their biases, and remained in the past,” said Yu Xi.

“They were a bunch of old die-hards who hated progress.” Kersz smiled.

“But nobody can say that they were wrong.” Yu Xi sat down on the sofa.

Kersz could accept being insulted. He could accept those people using the most caustic language to mock him, but he could not accept sharing his past with anyone else.

“I can’t accept humans cursing at me.” Yu Xi momentarily put himself in the other’s shoes, and felt that Kersz was truly impressive. “If the day ever came that all of humanity was cursing me at the same time, I would probably burst into tears and explain to them why I turned out this way.”

Kersz smiled: “But none of them would listen.”

“I know. Because humans are islands, and they instinctively recoil from anything that heavy.” Yu Xi understood such principles, but didn’t know how to apply them. “But I would still try over and over to explain, hoping that everyone could empathize with my feelings and understand why I do what I do.” 

Kersz’s smile grew brighter.

“Am I very childish?” Yu Xi asked him.

“No.” Kersz shook his head. “Actually, I used to think that way myself. I wished that everyone in the world could empathize with my pain.”

Yu Xi’s eyes widened.

Kersz continued: “Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be much genuine empathy out there. Exposing your pain too freely will only give others something to use against you.”

“No one will ever love me the way my parents did. My pain and vulnerability would cause them distress…..they were so kind. So kind, in fact, that I believed that everyone else in this world would be just as tolerant of my vulnerability as they were.” Kersz sighed.

“I also feel distressed for you,” said Yu Xi.

“I know. But you’re different.” Kersz gave him a smile.

Yu Xi didn’t understand what was so different about him: “Am I not as tolerant?”

“You don’t need to be that tolerant.” Kersz explained, “You’re not my parents, and I don’t need to seek parental love through you…..that’s something I’ve already had. It was just taken from me way too soon.”

“I don’t want you to treat me like a child and indulge me.”

Yu Xi: “But I’ve lived longer than you.”

“I know.” Kersz rested his head on Yu Xi’s shoulder. “But I really don’t need parents anymore.”

Yu Xi sighed with a touch of regret.

“You’re great, but you’re not a replica of my past relationships,” Kersz said. “Ours is a brand-new kind of relationship.”

Yu Xi’s eyes widened: “Brand-new?”

“Brand-new.” Kersz nodded.

“Oh! I understand, we’re good friends!” Yu Xi said at once. “That’s right, my identity is different from that of your parents!”

Kersz paused briefly: “….Yeah, good friends.”

“You’re brand new to me, too – my first friend!” said Yu Xi.

Kersz started to smile, but then he noticed something about Tau’s door.

It wasn’t closed all the way.

Tau was eavesdropping.

“Tau really has been giving some thought to intimate relationships lately,” said Kersz.

Yu Xi: “Eh? Why are we suddenly talking about Tau?”

Tau shut the door tightly, then looked toward Xiao Konglong, who was equipped with an emotion module.

Xiao Konglong behaved like a living creature, but it was artificial.

Tau thought back to the conversation between Yu Xi and Kersz.

“A brand-new relationship,” Tau murmured.

“Daddy?” Xiao Konglong peered up at him.

Tau smiled.

Kersz had changed.

Tau could sense that he was much more relaxed.

He had always been tense in the past, as if at any moment, he might completely succumb to his worst instincts and descend into madness.

But when he was conversing with Yu Xi just now, he was so calm. So gentle.

Kersz must be living very comfortably lately.

It was somewhat jarring to Tau how comfortable Kersz seemed. It was so strange.

Kersz’s comfort made Tau feel uncomfortable.

There was a knock on the door. Tau rose to open it and found Yu Xi standing there.

“Are you okay?” Yu Xi asked him.

Tau nodded, then shook his head.

“Tau?” Yu Xi frowned slightly.

“My name isn’t Tau,” he said. “I’m number 152. My hair and eye color are fake, and so is my face.” He himself had nearly forgotten his original appearance.

“Do you dislike it when I call you Tau?” asked Yu Xi.

Tau shook his head: “I don’t.”

“Does my and Kersz’s behavior make you feel uncomfortable?” Yu Xi asked again.

The intimacy between the two of them really did make him feel uncomfortable, yet whenever they acted affectionately toward one another, he couldn’t help but steal a glance.

Tau wasn’t entirely sure what was going on in his mind.

He could only say that he didn’t feel sad.

Yu Xi chatted with him for a while longer before closing the door with a worried expression.

“Maybe I should hurry up and grab a new human,” he said.

Kersz didn’t understand Yu Xi’s thought process: “What do you need a new human for?”

Yu Xi hadn’t even managed to build a good relationship with Tau yet.

“I need one to set Tau up with,” said Yu Xi. “He clearly needs love.”

Kersz: “No, that’s taking too big a step.”

“True, a domineering CEO isn’t that easy to find.” Yu Xi sighed. He certainly couldn’t just kidnap a highly renowned business tycoon.

“What I mean is, throwing him straight into the dating pool is too big a step,” said Kersz.

“Why?” Yu Xi was puzzled.

“Because right now, he lacks the ability to develop an intimate relationship with anyone.” Kersz felt that Tau entering a romantic relationship was currently unrealistic.

Yu Xi: “He must have been friends with people when he played his roles in the past.”

“That was him analyzing their preferences and catering to them. He didn’t feel a thing toward them himself,” said Kersz.

Yu Xi looked even more troubled: “Raising humans is really difficult.”

“Illegitimates are particularly difficult to raise.” Kersz acknowledged Yu Xi’s point with a nod.

“It looks like I’ll have to become a more mature robot.” Yu Xi felt that at the very least, he had to make the humans following him perceive him as reliable.

“Mature?” Kersz asked.

Yu Xi nodded: “Like a family patriarch.”

*

*

The next day.

Yu Xi wore a long expression as Kersz cradled him in his arms.

“Do you remember how just yesterday, you said you were going to be more mature?” Kersz asked him.

The corners of Yu Xi’s mouth drooped, and he let out a huff.

“You can’t act like this when we meet that person later. He’s a human too, ah,” Kersz said helplessly.

“I don’t like that human. Why are you still communicating with him?” Yu Xi was very angry. “That Zaire isn’t a good human! I’m going to revoke his membership to the human race.”

“That’s a little extreme,” Tau said from the side.

“He’s not a good human! I hate seeing that smiling face of his.” Yu Xi kicked his legs a couple of times.

“The second I see him, I’m going to lift my leg just like this.” Yu Xi suddenly swung forward and executed a high kick. “I’ll dislocate his jaw with a single blow!”

A moment later, he let out an even more discontented huff.

Kersz cradled him in his arms, making sure to hold his legs very tightly.

Tau uncharacteristically spoke up on Yu Xi’s behalf: “Zaire is deeply entwined with the Supreme Governor’s family. Getting to know him won’t hurt.”

Yu Xi: “I want to buy something to drink.”

Kersz: “Nope.”

Tau felt that Kersz was going too far: “Why not? How can you not even let him have a drink?”

Kersz: “Because he’ll take a sip and spray it right into Zaire’s face.”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Tau didn’t believe that Yu Xi was so childish.

“He watched a documentary about archerfish yesterday.” Kersz steadfastly refused to buy Yu Xi a drink.

“What is an archerfish?” Tau asked Yu Xi.

Yu Xi: ……

“It’s a type of fish that spits jets of water to hunt insects along the shore,” said Kersz.

Yu Xi huffed again: “He can count himself lucky.”

Tau: ?

So Yu Xi was actually planning to do that?

Yu Xi was thoroughly displeased, and looked absolutely fury.

“Actually, you can overlook the fact that Zaire hates the ‘space pirate Kersz.’ He really likes you, after all,” said Kersz. “You can’t just go around calling him a bad person. He’s actually quite good with children. He’s just a little vain, that’s all.”

“And everyone has a vain streak,” Kersz reassured him.

“I know.” Yu Xi was perfectly capable of accepting human vanity. He just couldn’t accept Zaire.

Tau: “The schooling of his older siblings is entirely taken care of by the High Lord’s family, and there’s no logical reason why he shouldn’t be allowed to attend school as well. Either he made some sort of sacrifice, or he just wasn’t cut out for academics, but in any case, he can hardly be considered a success within his range of society. Consequently, he is even more driven to latch onto something that proves his worth.”

“Are you defending him?” Yu Xi asked Tau.

Tau shook his head: “I just thought that once you realized he’s just someone lacking a backbone, not some kind of menacing villain, that you might feel a little better.”

“My mood has not improved.” Yu Xi was still angry. “But it might if you buy me a drink.”

He was going to blast a jet of water straight into that man’s eyes.

Tau: …..

“I’m a robot created by the ancient humans before they left Earth. I’ve witnessed countless horrific conflicts the likes of which you can’t even imagine,” Yu Xi claimed fiercely.

“Zaire has no idea who he’s up against. I’m going to make him experience firsthand the AI crisis that struck terror into the hearts of the ancient humans and show him just how scary robots can be.” Yu Xi gritted his teeth.

Tau: “No AI crisis has ever involved robots attacking humans with a mouthful of water.”

Yu Xi ignored him, feeling that Tau didn’t know anything.

He was ready to strike at a moment’s notice. The instant Kersz let his guard down even slightly, Yu Xi would launch a fierce attack against Zaire.

He would show absolutely no mercy to this short-sighted human.

Kersz held Yu Xi a little tighter.

Yu Xi had been constantly revising his method of attack, but when he actually laid eyes on Zaire, he didn’t know how to begin.

That detestable human Zaire…..had actually brought a child along?

A fresh human who looked to be only around six years old.

“This is my little nephew.” Zaire introduced the child in his arms to Kersz.

Yu Xi’s eyes were fixed intently on that child.

Heavens! Zaire was truly a treacherous human.

He had actually brought along such a fearsome shield.

Kersz breathed a noticeable sigh of relief upon seeing the child and loosened his grip on Yu Xi.

“The two children can play together,” Zaire said with a smile.

The little nephew clutched somewhat shyly at the hem of his uncle’s clothes. Yu Xi had already sidled up to him.

Yu Xi observed this fresh little human.

“Hello,” he said.

The child waved at Yu Xi: “Hello.”

The voice of a genuine child! Yu Xi was delighted: “Do you have parents?”

The child nodded.

Yu Xi: “Then are your mom and dad still around?”

Zaire: “Hahaha, this kid says the funniest things. What in the world goes on in that head of his?”

Kersz: …..

Yu Xi was probably thinking that if the kid didn’t have parents, he would take him and raise him himself.

However, the child’s answer didn’t align with Yu Xi’s hopes.

The child nodded, indicating that his parents were still alive.

“Then do you like your mom and dad?” Yu Xi asked.

The child nodded.

Yu Xi wore a look of complete disappointment.

Turning his head, he noticed that Kersz and Zaire had already struck up a conversation.

Zaire continued to blather on about his “profound insights,” and rather than stopping him, Kersz just egged him on.

As Zaire chatted away animatedly, he suddenly noticed that his nephew seemed to be chewing on something.

Zaire was given a fright: “W-what is that?”

“Oh, this is food from back home,” Kersz said, having realized that Yu Xi was feeding the child a snack.

Yu Xi probably wouldn’t feed the kid anything he shouldn’t.

Zaire let out a sigh of relief.

The child had just eaten a small cookie, and his eyes lit up: “So sweet.”

Yu Xi asked him: “Doesn’t it taste amazing?”

The child nodded repeatedly.

“I still have plenty here.” Yu Xi took out another pack. “These are sandwich cookies.”

The child let out a “wow.”

“I have so, so many cookies, more than you could ever eat,” said Yu Xi.

The child looked at Yu Xi with adoring eyes.

“There are plenty of other little snacks too,” said Yu Xi.

“Why do you have so many?” the child asked.

Zaire looked a little unsure, and gave an awkward smile: “Because this little brother’s family runs a big business.”

Zaire recalled how Yu Xi hadn’t finished his meal at the restaurant last time, and figured that there was nothing this kid hadn’t eaten before.

Yu Xi ignored Zaire and said to the child: “If you follow me, all of this will be yours.”

The child: “Eh? Follow you?”

“You can live in a house made of cookies and candy, and have heaps of delicious treats every day.” Yu Xi continued his temptation campaign.

The child: “Wow! Really?”

“Really, you can just reach out and break off a piece of cookie. As long as you follow me,” said Yu Xi.

“Okay.” The child took Yu Xi’s hand.

“So it’s fine if you never see your parents again?” Yu Xi asked tentatively.

The child fell silent, seemingly torn.

“Look! A cookie.” Yu Xi pulled out another.

The child: “Wow ! ! Then…..then I’ll follow you.”

Zaire: ? ? ?

Wait, wasn’t there something a little off here?

Zaire looked at Kersz: “Is your kid…..”

Kersz: “Hahaha, he just likes to joke around.”

Yu Xi: “How amazing, a brave little one who can be without his mom and dad.”

Zaire: “What does he mean by that?”

Kersz: “Hahaha.”

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Chapter 39 << Table of Contents >> Chapter 41